In December 2024, Mario Voigt became Minister President of Thüringen, sworn in at the head of a political monstrosity known as the blackberry coalition. This is a minority government tolerated by the former communists of Die Linke and cobbled together from Voigt’s own CDU (black), the old-left Bündnis Sahra Wagenknecht (purple) and the Social Democrats (red). The parties of the blackberry coalition have nothing in common and nobody in Thüringen really wants this misbegotten government. Its entire purpose is to keep the largest party in the Thüringen state parliament, Alternative für Deutschland, out of power.

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Voigt is a strange rodentine man; we’ve met him before. He’s the guy who demanded the state issue “revocable social media licenses” for the privilege of commenting online. He enjoys the dubious distinction of being the first head of government in the history of the Federal Republic to promote an ex-Stasi officer to a cabinet post. Such are the measures necessary to defend democracy in this, the best and most democratic Germany of all time.

More relevant here is the fact that Voigt plagiarised substantial portions of his doctoral dissertation. In January, following an internal investigation drawn out long enough to ensure that Voigt faced no awkward questions while he was forming his obstructive government, the Technische Universität Chemnitz officially stripped him of his Ph.D. Voigt has appealed the decision, but according to me he has no prospects of vindication, particularly as much more evidence of his plagiarism has since come to light. Once upon a time, plagiarism was enough to end political careers in the Federal Republic, but too many establishment politicians have been caught doing it and nobody cares anymore. Were Voigt to resign over such a minor matter as blatant intellectual dishonesty, that would benefit the AfD, and anything that benefits the AfD must be bad, so keeping plagiarists in high office must be good.

In the past weeks, Voigt has stumbled into a new and much more hilarious scandal. It all began when he co-authored a puff op-ed for Welt demanding more German-language radio music. The text was so vacuous and riddled with so many repetitive antitheses that everyone immediately recognised it as an AI screed: “Music is more than just entertainment. It is a language, an identity, a cultural self-image”; “This decline [in German radio music] is no coincidence. It is the result of structures that favour the global and cause the local to fade into the background”; “This continuity [in the German music tradition] is not nostalgia. It is an argument.” Lest you think I’m cherry-picking, have a longer taste – purely machine-translated via DeepL, so you know I’m not adjusting the style to make it any more robotic than it actually is:

More German-language music does not crowd out international quality. An additional voice broadens the sound – it does not restrict it. Especially at a time when so much is becoming more global, faster and more interchangeable, the need for a sense of direction is growing. For something that endures. Our language is such an anchor. Our culture is such an anchor.

It creates a sense of belonging without excluding anyone. It fosters identity without isolating us. This debate is no trivial matter. It is a question of cultural self-assertion. Not loud. Not shrill. But clear. For only those who have a voice of their own can be heard in the concert of the world. It is up to us – not through coercion, but through conviction – to give it the space it deserves.

Voigt responded to the ensuing uproar very strangely, telling a reporter that “I can’t understand all the fuss,” adding that “I can only encourage everyone to use AI” and insisting that his office’s reliance on large language models to churn out low-effort political slop is “a testament to the quality of modern Thuringian politics.” Notably, Voigt made no effort to downplay his ridiculous op-ed as an error originating with some subordinate and he made no promise to actually write his own op-eds in future. If you’re thinking that’s likely because our strange little man has been using AI in all manner of shameless ways to write all kinds of things for years now and he knew his shenanigans were about to be discovered, you’d be right.

Last Tuesday, investigative journalists at Frag den Staat published an extensive exposé. They ran eleven of Voigt’s speeches through the AI detection tools Pangram and GPTZero and discovered that only one appears to have been written entirely by a human. Three, meanwhile, are entirely LLM products. Voigt turns out to have used chatbots to compose very sensitive speeches, among them a funeral oration for the former Thuringian Minister President Bernhard Vogel. Sample quote the first: “What remains of such a life? Not the chronology. Not the offices held. Only the attitude with which they were carried out.” Sample quote the second: “We spoke on the phone as recently as January this year. He gave me some ideas for Thüringen. I am well aware that I am not merely stepping into the office of a predecessor, but also into the legacy of a high standard.”

Also composed entirely with the assistance of some AI tool was a speech Voigt delivered at a memorial service for the victims of National Socialism on 29 January 2025. Of these victims, he strangely intoned that “Their eyes were empty and yet infinitely deep.” Achieving heights of banality that would prove difficult even for the stupidest of humans, he declared that “Auschwitz was not the work of some imaginary monster. It was the work of people who believed their actions were in line with a higher purpose.” In words devoid of humanity (because they were written by a computer), he deplored the Holocaust as “the result of a mindset that abandoned humanity bit by bit – in words, in decisions, in indifference.” Voigt reused substantial portions of this speech several months later at an event to commemorate the liberation of Buchenwald, an occasion for which he did not even deem it necessary to get Gemini to spit out a new speech.

Voigt has also used AI to write various newspaper pieces in addition to the Welt trainwreck that set off this controversy. His most spectacular offence is a 2025 op-ed for the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung demanding minimum age requirements for social media. The piece attributed quotations to Jonathan Haidt and two other self-appointed social media experts that were entirely hallucinated by his chatbot. When FAZ asked Voigt’s office for comment, they issued a bizarre statement insisting that their use of LLMs to write articles and fabricate quotations is part of an “AI strategy” intended to make the state government of Thüringen “fit for the future.” FAZ promply denounced Voigt’s op-ed as contrary to their editorial guidelines and unpublished it.

There are so many things to say about this delicious scandal. Nobody expects a head of government to personally author all of his speeches, but the serial reliance on AI suggests that neither Voigt nor his staff have anything to say at all, or (what is worse) any idea of what they should be saying. That they’re willing to take such obviously defective and vacuous AI compositions to the public without a second thought speaks volumes about what unselfaware idiots all these people must be. Imagine showing up at some Holocaust event and declaring with a straight face that the victims of National Socialism had “empty” yet “infinitely deep” eyes, without once asking yourself what the fuck you’re even talking about. Most damning of all, however, is the fact that Voigt has been letting AI speak for him for at least 18 months now and nobody noticed until a few weeks ago. Voigt finds himself in a wonderfully symmetrical position: He has no ideas or thoughts on the one hand, but nobody gives a shit about his ideas or thoughts on the other hand. Voigt isn’t in office to do any particular thing or to have any particular vision or to pursue any particular goals. He is in office purely and entirely to keep the AfD out of office, which is also why Voigt could not care less that he’s been outed as a fraud before the entire nation. He can never be forced to resign, because that would benefit the Evil Hitler Nazi Fascist party. Enshittified robot politics to stop fascism is what Germany is all about these days.

I write this from the Baltic coast of Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, just north of Rostock. In three months we’ll have state elections here, and Alternative für Deutschland are far and away the strongest party. The last poll pegged their numbers at 36%. The centre-right Christian Democrats, meanwhile, are weaker here than in any other German state; they’ll be lucky if they scrape by in September with 10% of the vote.

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Now, the CDU have never been that strong in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, but they owe their particular and present weakness largely to German Chancellor Friedrich Merz. Since the 2024 election campaign, Merz has taken the Union in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern on a steady march down from a high of nearly 20% into the depths of their present misery. Along the way, Merz completed a process begun by his predecessors, Merkel and Scholz, namely the full and total social normalisation of the AfD across East Germany.

This past weekend – as they stare down an impending electoral embarrassment unprecedented in their history – the Meck-Pomm division of the CDU held their state party congress. Things are already bad enough for the poor Union blighters, but to make them worse Merz swooped in to deliver yet another of his bizarre gaffe-ridden speeches. He let slip various strange statements over the course of forty minutes, but one passage of his speech in particular has me thinking that maybe I have had Merz wrong this whole time, and that maybe the man is actually not the most bumbling clown chancellor the Federal Republic has ever had, but rather a deep-cover operative on a secret mission from the AfD to crash and burn the Union with no survivors.

In the middle of a standard lament about the demise of the “political middle,” Merz spent a few words deploring the ex-communists in Die Linke (presently polling at 13% in Meck-Pomm), before turning his ire to the Evil Nazi Hitler Fascists in the AfD:

And there is … a party … that stands in the tradition of the worst injustice our country has ever known in its history. A party that not only wants to return to the days before Helmut Kohl and Konrad Adenauer, but a party questions everything that has made our country great and successful. We must engage more forcefully with this party. This phenomenon did not appear overnight and will not vanish by day’s end; rather, it poses the fundamental question of where the Federal Republic of Germany should move in the coming years and decades. And not everyone will be pleased when I quote a former prominent Green politician. But not everything has to be wrong simply because it comes from a Green. A few days ago, Joschka Fischer said on a talk show that this AfD wants to take Germany back to the time before Adenauer. Ladies and gentlemen, the time before Adenauer was a time of nationalism, a time of the worst excesses of that nationalism. With Konrad Adenauer, we left nationalism behind in Germany and we never want to go back there, which is why we will not leave our country to the extremists.

So, in order of ascending craziness: 1) Merz claims that the AfD want to take us back to a pre-Adenauer nationalism, which is a roundabout allusion to National Socialism. Then, 2) as support for this claim, Merz cites a leading politician from the Greens, apparently forgetting that the Greens are among the most absolutely loathed parties in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern (presently polling at around 4%). And because that is not enough, he additionally 3) claims that the AfD “stands in the tradition of the worst injustice our country has ever known in its history,” which is a veiled way of saying that the AfD “stands in the tradition of” the Holocaust.

Set aside the fact that careless comparisons like this are a terrible idea, because they always entail the risk of legal consequences: Many AfD supporters in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern are former CDU voters. It is a very bold strategy to set about winning these people back by calling them a bunch of genocidal Nazis. Then we must remember, as I said above, that the AfD has become a totally normal party in the East, and that talking in this way about the AfD here just makes you look out of touch or crazy (or both). And finally, I would just like to know practically what Merz thinks is supposed to happen after the September vote. He spent his party congress speech railing against Die Linke and the AfD, two parties which between them are almost certain to win over half the seats in the state parliament. The Union with its morally ambitious firewalls is on the verge of walling itself off from most of the Eastern electorate, railing against phantom Nazis the whole time.

Merz is a secret AfD agent, that’s the only way to explain this. He’s working hard to get the Evil Fascist Nazi Hitler party an outright majority by September. It’s not an easy task, but if anyone can do it he can.

In 2024, the Austrian Identitarian activist Martin Sellner began serious efforts to push his concept of Remigration into the political mainstream, and since then the German state and its civil society collaborators have extended him every assistance.

Domestic intelligence agents and activist journalists at Correctiv collaborated to convict Sellner and Alternative für Deutschland of planning the mass deportation of naturalised Germans in a late 2023 meeting in Potsdam. They called this small private meeting a “Secret Plan against Germany” and drew not-so-subtle comparisons to the notorious Wannsee Conference. Ensuing anti-AfD protests lasted months, even as litigation succeeded in deconstructing much of the slander Correctiv had propagated. The hysteria cost AfD some support ahead of the European elections, but it also succeeded in making “remigration” a household word throughout the Federal Republic – something that Sellner and his Identitarians could never have achieved on their own. Unbelievably, the Correctiv reporting was turned into a theatre piece and the actual Wannsee Villa where Nazi government officials and SS leaders met to plan the Final Solution in 1942 received a sign advising visitors of Sellner’s Postdam meeting and “the … obvious… link between today’s ethno-nationalist fantasies of deportation and the historic Wannsee Conference.”

For their next act, authorities toyed with legally doubtful schemes to ban Sellner from Germany, while police devised pretenses to disrupt the speaking events Sellner had scheduled in the Federal Republic to present his book on Remigration. All this meant more press and more eyeballs for Sellner’s cause. When Sellner co-organised the inaugural “Remigration Summit” last Spring in Italy, authorities tried to prevent the attendance of several German Identitarian activists by temporarily banning them from leaving the country, and they did the same again when the second “Remigration Summit” convened in Portugal last week. In each case their restrictions ensured that small conferences held in other countries and attended by no more than a few hundred people could remain the subject of reporting and controversy here at home.

I don’t know to what degree the German approach to Sellner’s remigration programme reflects a calculated strategy, and to what degree it’s just all the pinched head girls in the state bureaucratic apparatus having a collective aneurysm over the latest politically naughty thing to come across their desks. Either way, the unique German system of ‘defensive democracy’ requires an enemy against which to array its defenses, and in the decades since the Berlin Wall fell this enemy has become “the extreme right” – concentrated like the old Communist foe in the eastern states of the former DDR, embodied by Alternative für Deutschland rather than the SED, and constructed as an equal if not greater threat to Our Democracy. Because unlike the Communists this enemy does not really exist, it requires regime propagandists to engage in heavy revisionism, for example by casting as an NSDAP successor a populist-right party with politics broadly equivalent to the 1980s-era CDU, and by building up and deploring particular villains like Sellner.

Now, political dissidents and activists of all stripes have a curious relationship with establishment discourse. The one is like oil and the other is like water; they cannot occupy the same space. In the past years, the myth that Diversity is our Strength and that mass migration might fix our pension plans, alleviate our cultural ennui and improve our culinary offerings has collapsed. Anti-migrationism has gone mainstream in many circles, driving right-populists to seize upon remigration as the new cause. I would imagine that a similar process unfolded from the establishment perspective; as major politicians and journalists decided the time had come to put the brakes on the steady stream of younger males streaming into our country from the global south, they needed to draw a new line in the sand to differentiate themselves from the populist rabble-rousers.

Thus, with the help of literally everybody from Chancellor Olaf Scholz’s benighted traffic light government to the Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution to Alternative für Deutschland to Martin Sellner and his Identitarians, remigration became the new anti-migration. Which is fine, as far as it goes; people should support the causes they want, and nobody would dispute that particularly in the last ten years a great many people have forced their way into Europe, where they have proceeded to abuse our social welfare systems, violate the law at disproportionate rates and substantially degrade the quality of life. If I could push a button and make these people leave I would.

Unfortunately, this problem does not come packaged with any easy solutions, and I am less and less certain a) how remigration is supposed to work, and b) that the newly ascendant and highly dogmatic remigrationists on the right have any path towards realising their vision. While remigrationists preach the manifold benefits of putting migrants on airplanes back to the global south, the migrants’ native countries in many cases refuse to accept them, mass migration continues if at a somewhat slower pace, the AfD remains firewalled out of German politics, our elaborate NGO machinery continues to push migrationist humanitarianism, a broad elite consensus resists even efforts to deport many of those who are here illegally and primary EU law confounds remigrationist proposals at numerous points. Remigration would prove a tall order if 85% of Germans reversed their stance on the idea tomorrow. Sellner’s full, heavily technocratic vision, meanwhile, would require broad institutional buy-in and support from all major parties, including large parts of the left, over a period of decades. We are talking about a new social consensus to compel or encourage the mass resettlement of entire populations, as deep and broad as the consensus that until recently existed behind climatism. That probably can’t happen without serious generational turnover or some kind of serious political upheaval.

I do not write this as an condemnatory political ninny or an incurable contrarian. I consider Sellner a friend and I am even his translator. Yet personal considerations like these aren’t enough to blunt my scpeticism.

The most recent initiative in remigrationland is something called the Save Europe Act, rolled out by Sellner and Dutch political activist Eva Vlaardingerbroek at the Remigration Summit 2026 in Portugal. Basically, there’s an EU procedural mechanism known as the European Citizens’ Initiative (ECI), whereby ordinary people can bring a legal proposal for consideration directly before the European Commission. To do this, they need only gather a million signatures in support and meet a few other requirements. Among other things, the Save Europe Act demands “legislative and policy measures” to impose a “moratorium” on non-European migration, to deport “illegally staying migrants, rejected asylum seekers” and criminals, to “establish a harmonized EU-wide framework for broader remigration” and to “remove social welfare incentives and benefits that function as pull factors for migration.”

All of that sounds great, as does the fact that Sellner and Vlaardingerbroek claim to have gathered well over 200,000 “signatures” so far. Unfortunately, reality tends generally to be less great. To begin with, Sellner and Vlaardingerbroek have yet to register the Save Europe Act with the European Commission at all. The signatures they are collecting – really, just email addresses – are part of an internet publicity campaign and have no wider significance. According to me, chances that the Commission agrees to register the Save Europe Act as a formal ECI are quite low, for the Commission may reject any proposal that “is … manifestly contrary to the values of the Union.” If Sellner and Vlarrdingerbroek do manage to squeeze their initiative through registration and the Save Europe Act becomes more than a buggy website, then they’ll still need to collect a million signatures – not from random internet people, but from verified citizens of EU member states. And if they meet that hurdle, they’ll compel a response from the Commission and a hearing in the European Parliament. Even in this best case scenario, there is no chance that the Save Europe Acts becomes law, inspires any laws or changes anything at the EU level at all.

Defenders of the Save Europe Act who have bothered to read the fine print accept that they are not on the path to making Remigration official EU policy. They argue instead that publicity surrounding the Save Europe Act will “move the Overton Window” and normalise remigration as a concept. These arguments neglect the fact that remigration has already been normalised; as I wrote above, since 2024 it has become almost a household word in Germany, if one denoting a very bad and fascistic concept approximately on par with outright genocidal fascism. Otherwise I have learned to be wary of intangible, immeasurable ends in the world of political activism. Western politics abounds with activists who are changing perceptions, challenging conventions, deconstructing myths, complicating assumptions, correcting prejudices, deepening understandings and now moving Overton Windows, and the only thing these projects and their goals have in common is that nobody can work out what any of them mean in concrete terms.

Mass migration has been an absolute curse. People want the migrants to stop coming and they want the ones who are already here to go back home. They feel impotent to change the situation and it’s natural that they should support social media campaigns promising at the very least to give them a voice. That’s fine and most of this is probably harmless, but the truth is that we’re not going to petition the migrants away. I’ve read so many appeals to the Overton Window at this point that the concept has become quite threadbare for me, but if anything has shifted mass media discourse these past years, it is not activist campaigns but the manifold and quite serious problems caused by mass migration itself. As in so many other areas from Covid to climatism, retarded elite policies are failing and unwinding themselves, but we’re not yet winning.

I’ve been quiet for five days, but I have not been on holiday and I have not had a restful break. At first I was researching this post, and then I was trying to write it. My efforts on the latter front have not gone well, so I’m throwing caution to the wind and pounding this out blind from a stack of notes, without a plan and with no idea where it’s going or where it will end up.

There’s a backstory here: For over a year I’ve thought it might prove worthwhile to review tabu books. I don’t mean those overexposed high-school tomes that find themselves for unaccountable reasons on the Forbidden Books shelves of major bookstore chains, but rather books that are genuinely tabu in our society. These are books you can’t get caught reading on the train, or books that got their authors in a lot of trouble, or books that are otherwise considered fundamentally indecent and evil and beyond all bounds of acceptable discourse. They are books that many of the most open-minded people would say deserve their tabu, but they are also books we are all undeniably curious about. In Germany, one book tops this list and outstrips all the others so completely that it’s hardly credible to begin any blog series on tabu books without an inaugural post on this singular and most tabu book of all.

I speak of a book that has been translated into at least 17 different languages and that in its time sold an astounding 12,450,000 copies across an even more astounding 1,122 print runs. At one point a copy of this book could be found in basically every German household. It is a long and dense book, comprising over 230,000 words split across two volumes, and despite its wide distribution we may doubt that very many people actually read it. It’s a book that Joseph Goebbels in the confines of his private diary called “honest and courageous,” but also “stylistically unbearable” and “unpolished,” concluding that “you have to be very open-minded to appreciate it.”

I’m talking, of course, about Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf. And if ever there were a time to draw the paywall curtain, God knows that time is now. In what follows I’m going to pour out my thoughts on Mein Kampf as they’ve grown over the past weeks, and if you want to read more I invite you to subscribe. Without your support nothing I do here would be possible.

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Look at you, you fucking dumbass.

Dead and bloated like a balloon off the coast of some Danish island. You made me care about you, I’ll never forgive it.

I’m not even sure you’re one and the same whale. They said in March when you first turned up off the Baltic coast that you were a young male, a boy. Then you were an adult if small male humpback as you continued to beach yourself. Now they say you’re a female whale, and I harbour dark suspicions that there may have been more than one of you and that the others just swam away. Late in the game the German press melded all of you with your last doomed self into a singular personality, into a Timmy the Disney Whale, a stupid media drama for a generally confused, rudderless and deeply naive public drunk on nature cartoons.

Livestreams of your beached ass off the Meck-Pomm coast racked up countless viewers. At some points ten percent of everyone in Germany was watching you try to die with quiet dignity in the shallow waters of Wismar Bay. Eight million people tuned in from the office to see you snort and scuffle while live Bundestag streams where laws are made and our fate is decided are lucky to get eight thousand eyeballs.

I called you a retard and named you Horst, which is a German name for idiots. You were a Vollhorst who couldn’t find his way back into the Atlantic where you belonged; I couldn’t deal with your excruciating fate and the failure of authorities to just leave you alone otherwise. Now that you’ve been properly gendered you must be neither Timmy nor Horst, but Horstine.

The People In Charge had the right idea at first. They wanted to leave you to your dignified death. Then something changed. I suspect the PIC began to think about what your corpse would do to the tourism industry and to ponder the predicament they would find themselves in if tasked to remove twelve metric tonnes of rotting whale flesh from the Wismar coast. We are talking about hapless bureaucrats who cannot even replace simple bridges or repair basic infrastructure without endless consultations and committees and budgetary debates lasting months and years.

Philanthromorons several orders of magnitude stupider than you swept in to fund a renewed rescue effort, and the PIC decided to greenlight this arrant idiocy. Tabloid reporters at BILD secured exclusive rights to film the circus. Better to tow your sorry ass into the Atlantic and let you die out of sight; better to let imbecile Germans think you had been shipped off to uncle’s farm to swim in eternal peace alongside that beloved Bernese who bit the postman when you were seven than to confront the harsh realities of nature and also of our own mortality. The Whale Whisperers, the Experts, descended on you. They told us everything would be okay, because the myth of nature is that it is proximity to human civilisation which is debilitating for wild creatures, and that a withdrawal from our milieu is in itself healing and all you need to survive. I know better, I understood from the beginning that you would die; it was only a question of where and when.

In truth, you insisted on the shallows because you were too weak to swim in deep waters. You knew you would drown in them. They enticed you into a semi-flooded barge and you swam into it thinking that here might be another sandy place to rest. Maybe the infernal landapes would stop harassing you there. Because you were such a loveable dumbass you got it wrong of course, it was just a corpse removal operation avant la lettre. They tied you down with cables and towed you around the Jutland peninsula; when the seas got rough and you were battered against the sides of your sad bathtub, they tried to dump you out. You refused to swim away, clinging to your barge for dear life. Eventually the sailors dragged you to your death, and the wounds from the cables are still visible on your corpse.

They affixed a GPS tracking device to your body, but refused to publicise the data because obviously there was no data. You sunk almost immediately to the bottom, you drowned. In the end, however, you put the knife into all of their fantasies. You took revenge on your tormenters in a last poetic act. You managed not to decompose in obscurity but to wash up dead, your body betraying your mistreatment. Now your bloated corpse threatens at any moment to explode. They have tried to remove you, but the waves push you ever closer to shore: an indictment of human folly and human idiocy.

I’m so sorry we did this to you. I’m so sorry that the Federal Republic, a land awash in bureaucratically undeportable migrant criminals and scammers, decided to pour millions into deporting your innocent whaleness out of all the creatures we might’ve tried to kick out otherwise. Incontinent empathy can be its own kind of cruelty, but at least now you are beyond all pain and suffering.

What a farce this has been.

Bärbel Bas is a particularly abrasive Social Democrat and one of the most disturbing personalities in German politics. Her every public appearance provokes in me a visceral, almost ancestral disgust. Bas is also Labour Minister in Merz’s horrible cabinet, which is probably a good thing because I can’t be the only person who finds her a reprehensible hag. Without Bas the government would surely have substantially higher approval ratings.

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Bas is additionally useful because she suffers from occasional but quite serious outbreaks of frankness and honesty. Yesterday, she had a particularly bad episode during a speech she gave at the German Cultural Council’s inaugural “Action Day for Cohesion in Diversity.” Among other things, Bas said she wanted to “speak plainly” and clarify that it is time to take a stand against the “grey uniformity” of the German people – or, she added, perhaps even their “brown uniformity,” the latter being of course a reference to our alleged innate fascism. Bas said that some people might long for the old days of this past homogeneity, “but that’s just not how things are anymore, and that’s a good thing.” She continued to explain that Germany may require migration to provide “skilled workers,” but that above all we need migration “for the diversity of our society” and for “cultural enrichment.”

You don’t even have to read between the lines here. Bas and also her approving leftist audience of cultural elites regard Germanness itself and German society as something requiring correction via population replacement. Among other things, they hope that new arrivals from the developing world may offset the wayward, right-trending political tendencies of the electorate, and they also hope that newcomers will improve what they see as our boring, nothing, monotonous culture.

For a long time, the mere suggestion that mass migration might represent at least in part a social engineering programme has been dismissed as a conspiracy theory, but when these people speak among themselves, they openly admit what they are trying to do. Diversity has become an end in itself, a self-evident virtue that is beyond question; the opposite of diversity is our own culture, which is right-wing, blank and bad, and requires supplementation from the outside. We are ruled by people who hold their own nations and their own societies in contempt, if not outright hatred.

Suddenly 1933 was that much closer, and this made the Defenders of Our Democracy uncomfortable. Thus there ensued a lot of hand-wringing and panic and motivated reasoning about how this poll might just be an outlier and also too leftoid conspiracy theories that INSA because reasons and as part of a nefarious plot might be cooking the numbers to make AfD look stronger than they actually are.

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People stopped saying things like that when Forsa, another polling operation, published their own nationwide survey three days later, which had the AfD at 28% with a six-point lead over the CDU …

… and they really shut up later that very same day when INSA published a second poll precisely confirming the death doom fascism hell numbers from their first panic poll on Saturday:

The establishment received their latest shit sandwich this morning, in the form of yet another INSA survey – this time a state poll – showing that the AfD in the Free State of Saxony with 42% support, against a badly weakened CDU at 21%:

These numbers are very close to a recent poll of Sachsen-Anhalt. Together, these polls show that the AfD is on track to achieve outright parliamentary majorities across multiple East German states in the coming years. Basically, we’re looking at a preference cascade, as the press turns on a badly weakened Pigeon Chancellor Friedrich Merz, voters move their support to the only CDU alternative in view, and AfD support thereby becomes socially normalised – which draws still more voters towards the party in turn. Who knows when it will end, or if any of these alienated voters can ever be won back from Evil Nazi Hitler Fascism to Our Democracy, or how the Union can hope to survive the tectonic shifts that are already moving the ground beneath them.

These and other imponderables have driven our political establishment to the brink of psychosis. The CDU have responded to their impending doom by publishing a defamatory 36-page pamphlet screeching that the AfD are “Detrimental to democracy,” “Anti-Semitic” and “Nationalist.” The screed reads like it was written by a pinched schoolmarm and portions of it are very likely legally actionable, mainly because they contain straight-up unadulterated lies. The document raised eyebrows across Germany because its hysterical, desperate tone is so out of character for the staid, unimaginative propagandists of the Union. They must really be losing their minds over there in the CDU.

Meanwhile police unions, of all people, have come out of the woodwork to inform us of all the ways that an AfD government in Sachsen-Anahlt will constitute a grave security risk:

“This debate hasn’t come out of nowhere,” Dirk Peglow, chairman of the Federation of German Criminal Investigators said … Many organisations, associations, government bodies and civil society actors have long been grappling with the question of what an AfD government would entail.

“This is not about party-political jitters, but about the functioning of the democratic constitutional state,” Peglow said. The interior and justice ministries would be particularly affected. The issue there is “who gains access to security-relevant information, intelligence from the Office for the Protection of the Constitution, police situation reports, threat assessments and international information channels.”

Peglow would have you believe that in Our Democracy you can’t just vote the opposition into office because that means they’ll gain control of the law enforcement agencies and the supersecret intelligence files and we can’t have that.

There’s more, there’s always more:

The national chairman of the German Police Union, Heiko Teggatz, pointed to the potential replacement of political officials, such as state secretaries, department heads and presidents of higher authorities. “This naturally carries the risk that parties such as the AfD … could install their party loyalists in key positions,” he said … As a protective measure, Teggatz suggested limiting the appointment of political appointees …

All the parties of Our Democracy have spent literal decades stuffing the bureaucracy with their men, but now that the opposition may be in a position to do the same thing it’s suddenly Nazism:

The possibility of an absolute majority for the AfD in Saxony-Anhalt is also causing concern within the SPD. The SPD’s First Parliamentary Secretary in the Bundestag, Dirk Wiese, has warned against such a scenario …

“There has not been such a blatant interference with the state apparatus in this country since the end of Nazi rule,” Wiese said. “The far-right AfD [in Sachsen-Anhalt] wants to arbitrarily restructure public authorities in the interests of their own cronyism.”

Thuringian Interior Minister Georg Maier (a Social Democrat) has even complained that AfD plans in Sachsen-Anhalt to restaff between 150 and 200 posts in the state administration would amount to a “coup d’état.” This is a very revealing claim when you think about it, as it amounts to an admission that the actual people running Sachsen-Anhalt are unelected bureaucrats and that the Defenders of Our Democracy consider it illegitimate to use democratically acquired political authority to remove unelected bureaucrats like these from office. Elections have suddenly become such a security and political risk for Our Democracy that the only people who can be trusted with any authority at all are civil servants who wield their power beyond the grasping fingers of filthy voters.

To save all that is Right and Good about Our Democracy, the cartel parties of the Federal Republic have erected a massive firewall round the Evil Fascist Nazi Hitlerites of Alternative für Deutschland.

According to this highly democratic arrangement, which effectively disenfranchises one-fifth of the German electorate, none of the cartel parties may achieve any parliamentary outcomes with AfD votes. Nobody may so much as approve the purchase of single-ply toilet paper if doing so requires AfD votes. This is because Evil Fascist Nazi Hitlerism is a contagion, and anything Evil Fascist Nazi Hitlerites might vote for – even if it is just toilet paper – immediately becomes Evil and Fascist and Nazi and Hitler by association.

Some valued readers have noticed that the firewall would seem to grant AfD unusual powers. If everything the AfD touch is fascism, then they should be able to drive the Defenders of Our Democracy before them merely by threatening to taint the perfectly reasonable and democratic and upstanding things these Defenders already want to do with their fascistic support. The risk has become so grave that the virtuous antifascist politicians of the Federal Republic are forced to exert untold effort behind the scenes, coordinating every last vote to avoid achieving some outcome with AfD support purely by accident. The stronger the AfD becomes, the greater the risk grows.

Alas, the AfD has become so strong, especially in East Germany, that it is not always possible to avoid committing the odd accidental fascism. It can happen to the best of people, even the very best of people, as it did to the Greens in the state parliament of Saxony on Wednesday.

Now, you must remember that there are not very many Greens in the Saxon parliament. In fact there are only seven of them. So when they drew up a bill intended to spare small, regional slaughterhouses various fees and bureaucratic red tape, they had little hope that it would go anywhere, particularly because the centre-right CDU was opposed. When debate concluded, however, both the AfD and the Bündnis Sahra Wagenknecht (BSW) factions raised their hands in favour, to general shock and consternation. This is how fascism happens – unexpectedly and all at once, when nobody is paying attention, and in this case also on video:

The chairman of the session nervously noted that “I’ve seen a majority of votes in favour here.” He consulted briefly with his nonplussed colleagues, and then declared baselessly that “We in the Presidium can’t agree on the result.” He requested that the MPs repeat the vote, this time by standing instead of raising their hands. The purpose was obviously to give the Greens a chance to vote against their own proposal, deny their bill a majority, and thereby strangle this particular incipient fascism in the crib, as if it were Baby Hitler.

Unfortunately, our seven hapless Greens had no time to coordinate their response and so everybody voted exactly the same way the second time, with the result that the bill passed and local slaughterhouses will be spared some paperwork and expenses, which is precisely the outcome Hitler would’ve hoped for or the AfD wouldn’t have supported it.

Afterwards, Green faction-leader-turned-fascist-enabler Franziska Schubert released this amazing statement regretting the success of her own party’s bill:

This majority pains us deeply as a democratic parliamentary group. Since the start of this legislative term, we have consistently done everything in our power to ensure that the AfD secures no majorities in this state parliament. We have succeeded in this with regard to hundreds of motions and amendments. Today, however, we were unable to prevent exactly this from happening … We are deeply dismayed by this.

At no point did we seek a majority with the AfD and the BSW for this motion. We will not do so in future either, and will do everything in our power to optimise the arrangements in the state parliament so that the AfD cannot provide majorities. Until the end of the debate, the AfD had expressed opposition to the bill and hurled abuse at the Green Party … In the end, the AfD and the BSW only voted in favour … to make a mockery of the democratic parliamentary groups …

If any of your friends doubt that German politics have become absolutely retarded, please send them this story.

So, as many of you know, I did a crazy thing two years ago.

I put my house in upper Bavaria on the market and bought an old Gründerzeit villa in the Thuringian Vogtland. Some readers (and also some family members) have asked why in the hell I did this and what I was thinking. Others have wondered how this eccentric project is going; they’ve wanted to know if I’m happy with all the complications and expenses I’ve welcomed into my life, how it is to live in a minimally modernised historically protected manse built to flatter the tastes of industrialists from 150 years ago, and other similar things.

I promised a report last year, but I put it off, mainly because I doubted very many readers would find an account of my adventures in obsolete German housing all that interesting. This was a mistake, and I am going to rectify it now. I desperately need to get out of the rut of German politics, I need to write more, and that is only going to happen if I diversify topics and dedicate New Posts to New Things.

From here on out, I’ll aim to write on some totally different topic every Tuesday. I’ll bring up crazy interests of mine, like famous German true crime cases that have always fascinated me; I’ll address various historical topics, from early modern witch trials to the Second World War; I’ll review strange books; I’ll throw caution to the wind and perhaps even experiment with new media, like audio. If you have specific topics or ideas you’d like to see, let me know in comments. All of this is going to be in addition to, and not in substitution of, the standard fare I’ve been churning out for years now. As I said, I need to write more, and that can only happen if I start to write about more things.

For now – and for this inaugural totally different Tuesdays post – I’m going to fill you in on my crazy villa idea. This will be the first of the New Things, and it must be paywalled, because I don’t want to put photos of my house all over the open internet.

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That graph, dear readers, is the latest source of indigestion for the centre-right CDU.

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On 6 September, voters in Sachsen-Anhalt will elect a new state parliament. That is in just four months, and this is the latest polling data. It shows that Alternative für Deutschland are on the verge of an absolute majority in this East German state. We could’ve guessed this already, but it is good always to have confirmation.

If these numbers were election results, the AfD would fall just a few seats short. Of course, these are not election results, and according to me it is more likely than not that the Social Democrats fail to breach the 5% hurdle for representation in the Landtag entirely. Outside of Brandenburg and Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, it is very hard to find SPD voters in the East any longer. And if the SPD fails to make it into parliament, then AfD already have their absolute majority even with these numbers, which are very likely to improve still further in the coming months as the CDU continues to circle the toilet and their voters continue to desert them.

An absolute majority of seats in the Landtag means the firewall doesn’t matter anymore. It means all the procedural tricks used to disadvantage the AfD won’t be available to the cartel parties anymore. And it also means that two weeks after the election in Sachsen-Anhalt, when voters in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern go to the polls, the AfD will have a lot of publicity and momentum suddenly on their side. They just might seize the absolute majority there too. Just like that, two German states could get majority AfD governments, after thirteen years of legal and administrative chicanery, press smears and relentless political exclusion.

If that happens – and I think, conservatively speaking, there is a 60% chance it happens in Sachsen-Anhalt at least – we’ll understand once and for all what kind of political system we live in. The self-proclaimed defenders of “our democracy” (by which they mean, their democracy) will probably not just shrug and let this go, and our strange Basic Law grants them some unusual tools to subvert the popular will. The world will see whether the East Germans can truly elect parliaments of their choosing, or whether they have stumbled into another closed dysfunctional political trap where votes are a mere pretence – a mere 35 years after they escaped the last such trap.

On 27 April 2026, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz provoked the most serious diplomatic crisis of his chancellorship by criticising the Iran war before an audience of high-school students. His unguarded words succeeded in angering U.S. President Donald Trump and increasing the strain on an already bending NATO alliance, all for no reason, to no purpose and simply because the man is an idiot.

Last week Trump answered Merz’s faux pas by promising new tariffs on European automobiles and by directing the Pentagon to withdraw at least 5,000 American soldiers from German soil. Still worse, the Americans appear to have cancelled Biden-era plans to station a long-range missile battalion in the Federal Republic. NATO planners had considered the deployment crucial to counter the threat of Russian missiles stationed in Kaliningrad.

In this way, our rake-stepper in chief managed to torch entirely his careful efforts over the past year to build rapport with the American president and market himself alongside Finnish President Alexander Stubb and NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte as one of Europe’s foremost “Trump whisperers.” Trump whispering, for those who don’t know, is a dubious sport via which European politicians with particularly grave deficits of self-respect compete to flatter Trump in the hopes of collecting crumbs for the NATO alliance and the Ukraine war. The whisperers have been kissing Trump’s ass in the most abject ways for sixteen months now, but Merz’s stray words have wiped out all their winnings and then some. The man is truly a counter-Midas; everything he touches turns to shit.

Of course, we must keep all of this in perspective: Merz has been setting fire to his political prospects with an arsonist’s zeal since the Bundestag voted him into office. He has driven his approval ratings to a novel low of 13%, becoming probably the most despised political leader of any major Western country. Emmanuel Macron and Keir Starmer can only be grateful to the German Chancellor; he makes both look like men of the people by comparison.

Because Merz’s chancellorship is in serious crisis for other reasons and the shitlib German media are not about to take Merz to task for picking an unnecessary fight with their own bête noire, this episode has gotten less consideration than it deserves. In what follows I want to look at Merz’s epic diplomatic fail in detail. I want to explore what the hell is wrong with the German Chancellor and ask what all of this really means. Maybe you would like to subscribe to my blog to read further; without your support nothing I do here would be possible.

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Merz has always been just some loser. He’s a third-rate talentless politician and in this much like his predecessor, Olaf Scholz. Both are mere caricatures, what happens when you mimeograph overmuch the last century’s tired political styles. These kinds of chancellors will continue to exist only so long as they can be sold to the geezers of the Federal Republic’s care homes by the amateurish marketing campaigns of a complicit state media as the incarnation of far-sighted competence and (more importantly) bourgeois respectability.

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Early in 2025, Merz had the chance to seize a measure of power for himself and make facts. He could have forged a deal with Alternative für Deutschland on the most important questions, established a minority government and set about force-marching the obese German state through necessary reforms. It might’ve torn his party apart, he might’ve failed, there would’ve been a huge fight, but whatever happened nobody would ever forget Chancellor Merz. Instead, the Pigeon Chancellor let a lot of deranged Antifa street protesters and screeching women with parareligious concerns about atmospheric carbon dioxide concentrations dissuade him from the only reasonable path. Instead of making history, he chose to spend the first year of his chancellorship making the Social Democrats fat and happy at the expense of the nation. Most don’t even hate Merz, because hate like love has to be be earned. He inspires nothing more than mildly scornful indifference.

Everyone who was not a complete idiot knew that Merz’s mad coalition with the Social Democrats could never work. Yet the man has been lionised in the international press and even in centre-right domestic papers like the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung as a serious reformer. These people told us Merz would rebuild the Bundeswehr, reduce insane social spending, impose fiscal discipline, solve the migroid problem and restore economic growth. Even if the leftoid half of the German establishment press didn’t embrace all these myths, they nevertheless worked hard to make Merz seem presentable, serious and viable. He was worth a shot, he would do his best, and after the crazy Scholz years Germany was back on solid footing.

Now, in the the space of about two weeks, the entire myth of Chancellor Merz has collapsed. Major papers that used to defend his government and praise his prospects are suddenly saying it’s over. They’re writing front-page editorials in the spirit of stuff I was posting here over a year ago. Merz appears at town-hall meetings where he gets asked how he’s made life better in Germany and before he can answer the audience just laughs at his stupid ass. His coalition partners say he’s doing a terrible job. Back-benchers from his own party are calling his political strategy a failure to his face and leaking it afterwards to the press so everyone knows what they said.

Still worse, people from the Chancellery are talking to the tabloids. They’re explaining that Merz’s government has been hanging by a thread since at least last December; that his party thinks he’s a pushover whom the SPD constantly manipulates; that often Merz just absorbs the opinions of whatever person he last talked to and so his handlers have to limit his contacts to keep him from going off-message in insane ways; that Merz is now almost totally isolated, having burned through most of his close confidants; and that nobody has any solutions or ideas and increasingly everybody doubts that the Chancellor has the talents to save himself.

We have here before us the final stages of an inexorable, terminal process. In this story Merz’s role is but a late and a small one; Merkel wrote the early chapters, and regular installments will continue until the Federal Republic is destroyed or politically reconstituted. Every Chancellor is going to be a bigger joke, even weaker and more ineffectual and more retarded than the last one. Every government is going to be even more paralysed and ridiculous than the heretofore most paralysed and ridiculous government that preceded it. Our industry will waste away while new taxes sprout like weeds, rail will grow less reliable and tickets more expensive, health insurance premiums will increase and medical care will get worse, schools will just get shittier and shittier. There will be no answers, no fixes and no succour, until the devolution is complete.

The problem is not merely the demise of a single chancellorship or a solitary party, but of an entire political world. Thus even longstanding Merkelian éminences grises like Peter Altmaier have begun to refer to our situation as a “crisis of the state.” Since its founding in 1949, the Federal Republic has been so closely identified with the two great people’s parties – the CDU and the SPD – as to be effectively inseparable from them. Other nations like France have extremely fluid political systems, but in Germany a combination of prior conservative cultural tendencies and a burdensome, deliberately enfeebling constitution has yielded one of the most inflexible political cartels Western parliamentary democracy has ever seen. The Social Democrats are already in a state of advanced decay, and now the Union parties are following them to a similar fate.

What awaits us at the bottom of our freefall is either a total reconstitution of the uniparty around Alternative für Deutschland and the Union in some dwarfed, reduced form; or an AfD ban and an institutionalisation of leftist rule in a less dogmatic reincarnation of the German Democratic Republic. The former seems vastly more likely right now, but of course that could easily change. Because we don’t know what will happen when we try to run different political software on our slow, overburdened constitutional hardware, it’s impossible to say whether the Federal Republic can even survive this resolution, and in no scenario will more than a portion of the present political elite make the squeeze.

Other countries would’ve adopted half-measure reforms to head off the cataclysms that are coming for us years ago, but not Germany. It is in our ethnic character to do everything longer, harder and in more determined suicidal fashion than everybody else. We must take everything to the absolute extreme to demonstrate our moral commitment, in the process proving to everyone else how stupid our ideological persuasions actually are. In this way our worst politics will sooner or later become their own refutation and their own undoing. Unfortunately the whole process takes a long time and is both extremely destructive and eye-wateringly expensive.

Yesterday saw a new phase in this dubious epic, as Timmy’s team of crack whale-whisperers finally realised the latest of their harebrained rescue schemes. They parked a massive, flooded barge near our confused or possibly suicidal marine mammal and enticed him to swim into it:

It really is hard to exaggerate what an unimitigated clownshow this whole thing has become – a circus funded by a few wealthy philanthropists that BILD has secured exclusive rights to cover. As Timmy lumbered into his new quarters he exhaled, which one of our execrable expertoids interpreted as an expression of his thanks.

BILD posted the video seconds later under the headline WALELUJA.

Timmy’s rescuers drew a net over the exit and sailed off with their mentally challenged charge. At present the whaletard is floating in his improbable whaletub which is in turn floating in the Baltic, headed for the North Atlantic. The plan is to release Timmy back into his native waters, just so that he can return to make an even greater problem of himself.

Humpbacks are pretty hardy creatures, but they are not immortal, and if any whale is likely to die in the coming weeks it is Timmy. The selfsame state authorities who had earlier urged all involved to leave our unfortunate whaletard to expire on his sandbank in peace had a change of heart some weeks ago. The reason is not hard to fathom, if we are honest with ourselves. The last thing they want to deal with is a rotting whale corpse off the coast of Wismar. Tourist season is looming, twelve metric tonnes of putrid whale flesh is bad for business and I’m pretty sure that disposing of a dead Timmy on any reasonable timescale is beyond the capabilities of the Federal Republic in its presently crippled state.

These are dark days for Friedrich Merz the Pigeon Chancellor. They might, in fact, be the beginning of the end for him.

Merz has become the least liked politician in all of Germany, with toilet-tier approval ratings hovering around 15%. It’s so bad the man can hardly bear to open his social media accounts any longer. This morning he went crying to Der Spiegel that “No Chancellor before me has ever had to endure anything like this” – the “this” in question being people calling him a loser and a failure on Facebook.

Even Merz’s erstwhile BFF Donald Trump has abandoned him. The Chancellor has been critical of the Iran war and that’s fine as far as it goes, but he broke new ground when speaking to a bunch of schoolchildren in Marsberg earlier this week. “The Americans went in to this war … quite obviously without any strategy at all,” he said, while praising the Iranians as “very skilful at negotiating – or anyway very skilful at not negotiating” and claiming that “the Iranian leadership are humiliating an entire nation.”

Trump responded with a rare direct rebuke on Truth Social:

As late as February Merz was wont to market himself as Europe’s foremost Trump whisperer. It was basically an implicit admission that although he was totally useless domestically, at least we could count on him to keep things smooth with our big American brothers. Now he’s not even good for that much.

German politics, I keep typing, have been mired in gridlock for a long time. The last time anything important happened was last January, and the problem with long periods of enforced stagnation driven by dysfunctional government is that the pressure for change is never properly diffused and only grows and grows. Suddenly we will pass from a world where absolutely nothing happens into a new world where a lot of really chaotic and on balance bad things happen all at once. Nobody can say precisely when the dam will break, but also too nobody can deny that it will happen.

Especially the fiscal picture looks increasingly dark: The German government avoided taking on any debt over the many years that the economy boomed and money was effectively free. Now interest rates are very far from zero indeed and the state cannot stop borrowing. Merz’s government have finally released their Federal Financial Plan, “which reads … like a declaration of insolvency” and predicts nothing but hundreds of billions in ballooning debts through 2030 to finance the social welfare system, to repair our rotting infrastructure and to rearm the Bundeswehr. The interest payments now threaten to swallow up every last free Euro of tax revenue. Practically speaking we probably only have two or three years of breathing room until the Federal Republic – one of the highest-tax countries in all of Europe – becomes effectively paralysed in its own morass of ballooning liabilities. That’s another big reason – and perhaps the most important reason – that nobody likes Merz anymore. His failed political triangulations and his total capitulation to the SPD are killing the country and ruining our future.

For about six months, the polls had Alternative für Deutschland and the Union parties more or less dead even with each other. Now the numbers have started to move again, quickly and dramatically. The CDU is in freefall, headed for 20% if not lower, while the AfD is climbing steadily, peeling voters away from the Union in a race for the 30% mark. Multiple surveys confirm the AfD has opened up a 4–5 point lead over the CDU and CSU, the biggest we have ever seen:

A lot of people have argued that there is a tipping point in AfD support – a point at which voter sentiment will shift irreversibly and in ever greater numbers in favour of the Evil Fascist Nazi Hitler Party. Ours is a state dominated by a vast regime media system that spends untold resources demonising the AfD and running interference for the government however badly they fail. This strategy can work only as long as AfD support remains relatively low; beyond some threshold, the party will become increasingly normalised socially regardless of whatever the TV says, because AfD supporters will become so common in real life. Something like that already happened in East Germany in the aftermath of Covid; there, the the tipping point seemed to lie just north of 20%. The AfD has now reached that level of support in the West as well.

At this point Merz has squandered almost all support within his own party. The CDU is full of careerist people who see nothing but a grim future of shrinking voter share and ever fewer seats in the Bundestag and the state parliaments:

Following the heavy losses in the local elections in Bavaria and the latest poll in North Rhine-Westphalia (CDU: down six percentage points), it is rumoured that plots to replace Merz have been underway behind the scenes for some time. “It’s always the same,” an experienced CDU figure … says. “Either the bloke at the top delivers or they saw him off.” Merkel … delivered a long series of election victories and with them posts and power. Merz delivers nothing politically and the Union cannot win with him.

There’s only two ways for the CDU to get rid of their doomed Pigeon Chancellor: Unioners must either recruit the Social Democrats for their plot and arrange a vote to replace him with somebody else, or they must do the unthinkable, break down the firewall and form a new minority government with the help of the AfD. The only way Merz can save himself is by giving the SPD even more of what they want and ruining Germany’s future prospects still further, in the hopes of convincing his poisonous partners them that they’re better off with him than with any notional successor. In pursuing this strategy, of course, Merz further alienates his own party and increases pressure on the firewall. And all the time those autumn elections in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern and Sachsen-Anhalt are looming.

Today a reporter asked Merz if he could guarantee his government would last until the end of the present legislative period in 2028. He responded that “nobody can guarantee anything.”

His name is Cole Allen, and he is a 2017 Caltech grad most recently employed as a standardised test tutor. He booked a room at the Washington Hilton late last week, anticipating the 2026 White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner scheduled for Saturday evening. This was the very hotel where John Hinkley shot U.S. President Ronald Reagan in 1981.

At 8:24pm on Saturday, Allen sent a typically verbose and retarded 1,000-word manifesto to his family. Then, using his status as a hotel guest to bypass the outermost security perimeter, he made his way to the concourse ballroom where Trump and many other high administration officials were seated. Allen had armed himself with a shotgun, a handgun and various knives. At 8:34pm, he opened fire and rushed a security checkpoint near the ballroom stairs.

Allen did not get very far. Security officials rapidly disarmed and tackled the would-be assassin; he ended up stripped and handcuffed on the carpet with a foil blanket around his waist. One Secret Service member was shot during the struggle, but his ballistic vest spared him serious injury.

Secret Service and other security personnel evacuated the ballroom and there were no other injuries. Afterwards Trump held a press conference at the White House, still wearing his dinner jacket. He answered a reporter’s question with signature bravado, insisting that “the most impactful people, the people that do the most … the people that make the biggest impact, they’re the ones that they go after … I hate to say I’m honoured by that.” He also used the security lapse to press the case for his White House ballroom project.

Allen’s motives were everything you were already thinking. In his manifesto, he wrote somewhat incoherently (and in reference to the Epstein scandal) that he was “no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes.” He proceeded to outline the various “rules of engagement” that he had set for himself, claiming that he intended above all to target “administration officials (not including Mr. Patel1) … prioritized from highest-ranking to lowest.” He also commented on the lax security at the event:

Like, I expected security cameras at every bend, bugged hotel rooms, armed agents every 10 feet, metal detectors out the wazoo. What I got (who knows, maybe they’re pranking me!) is nothing.

Allen signed his manifesto with the cringe name “coldForce,” which turns out to be his Bluesky nom de guerre. He spent his time on that platform angrily venting a lot of standard-issue anti-Trump bile that it is not worth my time or yours to rehearse here, and that is only useful because disingenuous idiots from former U.S. President Barack Obama down to every last establishment German journalist were still pretending as of yesterday that Allen’s motives were some kind of deep mystery.

Three points:

1) This is third assassination attempt Trump has endured since his political comeback. On 13 July 2024, Thomas Matthew Crooks notoriously grazed Trump’s ear and murdered an innocent bystander in his attempt to kill the forty-seventh president-to-be at a rally near Butler, Pennsylvania; and two months later on 15 September, the Secret Service caught a deranged Russo-Ukrainian war activist named Ryan Wesley Routh lying in wait for Trump outside his golf club in West Palm Beach, Florida. The Butler shooting was only possible because of astonishing lapses in event security, and as of now it seems that similar lapses at the Washington Hilton are why Cole could make it as far as he did on Saturday. We’ll very likely see more assassination attempts before Trump’s presidency is over.

2) Before Allen Cole, there was Austin Tucker Martin – a 21 year-old who was shot dead on 22 February 2026 by Secret Service while attempting to enter Mar-a-Lago. Trump was away in Washington at the time. This makes Cole not only the third would-be assassin, but also the second armed anti-Trump lunatic with Epstein obsessions to try something violent. I have many disagreements with the irascible Michael Tracey, but he is completely right that media promotion of the various overblown and often flatly untrue Epstein conspiracy theories is dangerous and also deeply irresponsible. This kind of mythmaking has far more emotional potency than the Russiagate nonsense that it has replaced.

3) The establishment German press have treated these events with typical maturity and even-handedness. Severely pinched US Spiegel correspondent Nicola Abé has shat out a piece declaring that “the dramatic incident at the Washington Hilton comes at a rather opportune time for Trump,” because it has allowed the forty-seventh president to “cast himself as a combative hero.” ZDF Washington correspondent Elmar Theveßen, who spent the days after Charlie Kirk’s assassination peddling malicious and transparent slander, quickly got to work Amerisplaining to Germans why Trump is the real villain and the progressive left establishment the real victim of Allen’s failed shooting:

Donald Trump’s critics fear that he could exploit this for political purposes to strengthen the security apparatus, potentially deploying the National Guard and regular armed forces within the country, including during the autumn elections. And in fact, a new task force has recently been established here to proactively track down terrorism within the country, and Donald Trump has now defined terrorism so broadly that dissidents, civil rights groups, and even the Democratic Party could come under scrutiny. And in that respect, there is a climate of uncertainty here, to which incidents like the one last night naturally contribute.

The Southern Poverty Law Center is a sleazy American political advocacy organisation that exists primarily to collect donations from morally overexcited gullible people. They solicit these donations by claiming to combat an array of political evils associated with “white supremacism.” Mainly the SPLC are known for filing lawsuits, publishing otiose classifications of alleged hate groups and promoting things like “anti-bias education.”

In its stated aims, the SPLC is not alone. A whole world of political activists and non-governmental organisations – to say nothing of entire governments and intelligence agencies – devote astounding resources to ends like these. The postwar progressive consensus derives political legitimacy from seeming always and everywhere to oppose nefarious, illiberal and anti-egalitarian forces. The problem is that malign hate groups are in extremely short supply. Never has there been such a dearth of them as today.

Facing a shrinking pool of credible demons to expel, our political priesthood has resorted to various underhanded tactics. By far their favourite is to target some random political party or otherwise harmless group and insist that they are neo-Nazi hard-right racial supremacists even though they’re not. They’ve been doing this to Alternative für Deutschland for years.

They have other approaches too. Sometimes, in very rare but extremely telling moments, we catch our progressive liberal guardians of all that is right and good actually funding and coordinating the very hate groups they claim to oppose. The U.S. Department of Justice has just charged the SPLC with money laundering and fraud, alleging that they have spent at least three million dollars doing exactly this.

The details of the indictment are amazing. Maybe you want to subscribe and we can read them together. Without your support nothing I do here would be possible.

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Timmy is the name the German press have given to a confused humpback whale who got himself caught in a fishing net off the coast of Mecklenburg-Vorpommern in early March.

Authorities cut Timmy free in the hopes that he would swim back to the Atlantic like a good whale, but instead he continued to poop around off the German Baltic coast where he does not belong, finally stranding himself on a sandbar near Niendorf like a complete fucking retard.1 An intensive rescue ensued – breathlessly livestreamed by the German press and regrettably also live-tweeted by myself. Ultimately the effort succeeded and Timmy swam free, only to strand himself again, and again, and again, and still again.

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Finally authorities gave up and decided to let Timmy the Whaletard die in peace, but soon a whole raft of philanthropists and “whale whisperers” (this is literally what the press called one of them) descended on the problem and the drama of Timmy continues to this moment. The latest subplot unfolded yesterday, as our whale saviours prepared a complex scheme to lift Timmy via air cushions onto a tarp, tie him to pontoons and tug him around Denmark back into the North Atlantic. Alas, a rising tide loosened the hapless Timmy from his sandbar and he swam free, escaping this indignity at least and leaving all the whale-whispering shitheads with nothing to do but give more pointless media interviews. For two hours children across the Federal Republic jubilated as Timmy lurked aimlessly in shallow coastal waters, until of course he beached himself again, provoking a whole new narrative epicycle.

The case of Timmy the Retard Whale is oddly captivating. Most obviously it illustrates the naiveté and neotenous emotional incontinence of Germans today, many of whom have countered the pervasive secularisation of society with an exaggerated and childish faith in the overarching sacrality of the natural world and its creatures. The media have constructed a perverse Disney plot out of the endless ups and downs of Timmy’s plight: Now the whale is free! Now he is dying! Now he must be rescued! Now he is free again! Now he is stranded! Now there is hope! Now he is dying! Not only children but plenty of adults have lost themselves in this transparently repetitive drama. At one point a gaggle of dumb women even protested to demand that authorities do more to save our unsaveable humpback – who is of course merely one of perhaps 100,000 humpbacks across the world, the vast majority of whom will die in complete obscurity with nary a news article.

In my more delirious moments I wonder if Timmy is not also an omen from on high, a metaphor from the heavens to illustrate for us the ridiculous, circular farce that Germany has become.

The Federal Republic concludes the first quarter of the twenty-first century as a bloated, increasingly unaffordable welfare state, governed by a sclerotic political elite who have lost all will for reform. Annual government expenditures now officially exceed 50% of the entire German gross domestic product – a line in the sand where Helmut Kohl once said (however allegedly) that socialism begins.2

Friedrich Merz’s coalition government of centre-right Christian Democrats and hard-left Social Democrats faces an increasingly insolvent pension system, a dysfunctional and increasingly unaffordable public health insurance system, a bloated social welfare system subsidising an ever-growing population of layabouts and bums, a continued stream of illegal migrants, decaying infrastructure, a cancerous bureaucratic apparatus, an insane tax system that appropriates half of everyone’s earnings with ever less to show for it and a vampiric public media behemoth supported by a warren of malicious taxpayer-funded NGOs that run around branding everybody who has a problem with any of the foregoing as an Evil Nazi Hitler Fascist.

The pension crisis is the greatest problem of all. In the best of worlds and with even the most capable political leadership, it would still represent an existential challenge to the Federal Republic. Yet as this crisis approached from afar, the state responded not with advance measures to lessen the pain, but with an insane plan to phase out all nuclear power and transition electricity generation to renewables. It is hard to see this in retrospect as anything but a kind of weird displacement reaction. We have spent the last twenty years solving exactly the wrong problem and along the way we have made the real crisis that much worse. The energy transition means expensive energy much more than it means reduced carbon emissions, and expensive energy means deindustrialisation, means a shrinking tax base, means fewer fiscal resources to address the pension crisis, means probably higher taxes, means more productive people leave, means everything gets worse.

Before his swearing in, Merz the Pigeon Chancellor vowed an immediate blitz of reforms to address all of these problems. The Social Democrats would not cooperate, so the reform blitz was rebranded into something called the Autumn of Reforms, and nothing happened in the autumn either so Merz felt compelled to christen 2026 the “Year of New Beginnings.” We are now a third of the way through the year and nothing has really begun yet, beyond unsatisfactory half-measures on the pension front, ongoing fruitless debates on welfare reform and new conscription legislation passed with such little care and in such great haste that the government was forced to defang an unnoticed if disturbing provision requiring young men to obtain permission from the Bundeswehr before leaving the country. Meanwhile high energy prices continue to deindustrialise Germany and economic growth remains a hopeless fantasy. The political gridlock will continue into yet a second autumn, as the Christian Democrats await with terror the results of elections in Sachsen-Anhalt and Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, where Alternative für Deutschland stands on the edge of achieving outright parliamentary majorities.3

It is an interesting question, to ask when is the last time anything big happened on the domestic political front in Germany. The answer is pretty clearly January 2025, when the Christian Democrats in the middle of a desperate federal election campaign flirted with tearing down the firewall and conducted two mostly symbolic votes alongside the AfD. There ensued a fierce backlash from the left and their civil society goons, and since then Merz has clung to the firewall like grim death. The result is a curious paradox that may be very nearly unique in history: The more the electorate shifts to the right, the more federal politics counterbalance towards the left. The voters see the answer, and the politicians respond by giving them everywhere and always exactly the opposite of what they want.

There are three reasons for this. The first is the asymmetrical nature of left and centre-right parties in general. As left parties lose supporters to the right, they shrink to an ever more concentrated base of the truly radicalised and committed. They become more leftist and less centrist. Centre-right parties, as they lose supporters to the right, merely shrink to their directionless triangulating core. They become more centre-left and less rightist. Thus you end up with the present government, which consists of leftist true believers harnessed to a bunch of milquetoast centre-right careerists who stand for nothing discernible.

Then there are the paradoxical effects of the firewall itself, which divides the Bundestag and all state parliaments in two. The more seats and voters that vanish to the AfD behind the firewall, the greater the share of seats and voters the left enjoys in the socially acceptable portion of parliamentary politics. Left parties together have 56% of the non-AfD Bundestag presently, for example – exactly same share they had at the height of leftist power in Germany after the 2021 elections, when the AfD was much weaker. The parliamentary math thus does not discourage the left from their growing radicalisation; if anything it teaches them an opposite lesson.

The final dynamic, and the most insidious, stems from the craven incentives of the Union parties and Merz himself. To make the coalition work, they have transformed themselves into something like a subdivision of the Social Democrats. They are eager to give the crazy SPD every possible win, they miss no opportunity to debase themselves before the SPD and they give in to every last SPD demand. The logic here is incredibly simple and also very stupid: The Union fears that if the Social Democrats believe their presence in the coalition is harming them politically, they might just leave the government. Thus they want the SPD to do as well as possible, and the Union on this front has been very successful. While Union polling numbers have only decayed since the last elections, the Social Democrats until recently remained roughly intact around the 15 percent mark.

That is of course only the federal picture, and it is rapidly changing. Since the end of February, the SPD has lost ground to the Greens, because some German voters are stupid enough to react to high energy prices by shifting their support to the one singular party most devoted to making energy even more expensive. We are talking about people so mind-numbingly retarded they make Timmy look like an all-time genius ocean navigator. There is also the state picture, which is very grim and betokens nothing good for the coalition. The 22 March elections in Rheinland-Pfalz ended 35 years of Social Democratic rule in that state, with the SPD winning a mere 26% of the vote. When Sachsen-Anhalt goes to the ballot box in September, the SPD stands a good chance of being voted out of the state parliament entirely. Who knows what conclusions the Social Democrats might draw from that kind of defeat, or if the federal government can survive it.

Much of what happens in politics is down to boring systemic forces, but sometimes – and particularly in the realm of failures – responsibility can be traced instead to very specific actors. In this case, the paradoxical leftward shift of German politics can be laid almost entirely at the feet of the cowardly Union leadership. They are destroying their own party and doing untold damage to Germany via their refusal to take obvious steps: Merz must get rid of the Social Democrats, form a minority government and pass legislation with opportunistic Bundestag majorities formed from AfD votes as necessary. Something like this will happen sooner or later whatever anybody does. The more time we waste in this pointless nothing government, the worse things will get and the harder it will be to send the left packing. Their civil society minions are every moment preparing the trenches and sharpening knives for just this eventuality.

Day-to-day existence in Germany is far from unbearable, but everything is worse than it was. Particularly Covid has defined a serious break in the general quality of life. Everything suddenly became more expensive, infrastructural problems (particularly rail) have reached absolutely farcical levels, the state has acquired a disquieting repressive edge that I’ve written about many times and the bureaucracy has become even more unbearable. A lot of people, particularly smart young people, are leaving the country to seek their fortunes in places with less taxation, more functional public services and better prospects. The pain however has yet to become bad enough to break the impasse, and so we are still stuck, and it is just immensely frustrating and also really, really stupid.

As I write this, rescuers have brought in an excavator to dig Timmy free of his sandbar in Wismar Bay. A few hours ago they tried to feed him a lunch of shrimp and herring. One of Timmy’s veterinarian attendants has abandoned the mission in outrage and is screeching on Facebook that a lot of the people involved in the rescue effort are mere poseurs, which is something nobody would’ve ever guessed. In an “IMPORTANT UPDATE”, ZDF reports on the opinion of a “whale researcher” who believes present efforts “are against the whale’s best interests.” You can watch the livestream here, along with millions of other Germans.

This is going to be a rant. Some won’t like what follows but the problem is I can’t write anything that I want to write until I get this off my chest.

The coming months (and perhaps years) of blogging are shaping up to be hard. This is because many of you have decided you need to be outraged when presented with honest assessments of what I think is happening in American politics under President Donald J. Trump. You’re fine if I write honest posts about what I think is happening in Germany under the rule of anybody at all, and you were fine when I wrote honest pieces about what I thought was happening in American politics under President Joseph R. Biden. When I write about my honest impressions of U.S. events under Trump, however, I get waves of enraged responses. Idiots who don’t even subscribe come out of the silicone shouting at me to watch their favourite MAGA YouTube account and iNfOrm mYseLf.1 Other people who do subscribe rapidly unsubscribe in high dudgeon. I am told to stick to Germany or that I was only interesting when I wrote about Covid or that I don’t know what I’m talking about for any of a myriad other reasons.

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I find these reactions both unbalanced and unreasonable. Anything I post that is longer than about 1,000 words is always something I’ve thought about and researched for a while. These aren’t one-off shitposts that I throw up to troll my valued readers. I’ve tried to be diplomatic, but that doesn’t work. On the one hand people still get mad so it hardly matters, and then on the other hand still other people who claim to agree with me get mad too because they deem my diplomacy to be evidence of deeply feared “audience capture.”2 Never has the narcissism of small differences weighed more heavily upon me. Most of the angriest readers seem to agree with me on all the most important things; the stuff that gets them hopping is trivial in comparison. What does it matter, if the Iran war is actually going fantastically and I’m mistaken in my pessimism? If tariffs really work out or if Denmark decides to give Greenland away after all, what’s the big deal? Why are my reservations about these things such a problem? It’s baffling to me.

As an interim solution to this friction I’ve tried not writing at all, but we all know that isn’t the way. So I’m going to write about these problems, and I’m going to be as brutally honest as I can be about them because I’m irritated and I’ve had enough and I want to clear the air now and forever.

What follows will only be for subscribers, because I’ve long learned that it’s pointless to argue with the entire internet and some of this blog’s more casual readers turn out to be very careless angry dyspeptic types who are just going to have to wonder for all of eternity about all the enraging insane stuff I have stashed beneath the fold.

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From Apollo News:

The Hamburg Public Prosecutor’s Office is investigating two Christian YouTubers for criticizing Muslim anti-semitism and Islam in a video …

Together, Niko and Tino run the Christian YouTube channel “Eternal Life,” where they post videos in which they talk with people about Jesus and his message. …

In February 2025, the public prosecutor’s office launched an ex officio investigation into Niko over statements in a video from 2024 … The Protestant newspaper Idea was the first to report on the investigation against Niko. Apollo News has now learned that the second YouTuber, Tino, is also under investigation for the same video …

Tino and Niko have taken down the offending video, entitled “Islam is not peace” (“Der Islam ist kein Frieden”), but reporters have seen it. Apparently it was posted in the context of the pro-Palestine protests that were unfolding in Hamburg at the time and features Niko editorialising on what he sees as the dangers of Islam. The video claims that “Palestinians are working toward the extermination of the Jews, according to the dictates of the Hadiths,” among them the Hadith proclaiming that “The time will not come until Muslims will fight the Jews and kill them” – a text which indeed is cited in Article 7 of the Hamas Charter. In the video Niko further claims that “Hatred of Jews … is a demonic spirit and does not come from God” and that “Islam and the message behind it bring only hatred, power, and murder,” concluding that “This religion is not peace, not joy and not life.”

Prosecutors believe these statements may violate Section 166 of the German Criminal Code, which prohibits the “Revilement of religious faiths and religious and ideological communities.” Specifically, StGB §166 makes it illegal to publish content that disparages “the religion or ideology of others” or “a church or other religious or ideological community in Germany … in a manner suited to causing a disturbance of the public peace.” That last clause is the most important. While confessional content like this hardly rises to the level of other speech crimes like incitement, the blasphemy statute imposes a more dangerous standard premissed on the attitudes of the targeted group. If it is likely to inspire unrest among Muslims, in other words, it may well be illegal under StGB §166.

This is another in a long series of cases where we find the German state pursuing small-time content creators for posting the most benign things that would have attracted no attention had there been no criminal investigation. The YouTube channel “Eternal Life” as of today has only about 1,400 subscribers and 17 videos featuring nothing but bog-standard evangelical Christian content. What is more, the offending video had less than 1,000 views before it was removed. Apparently YouTube classified the video as “dangerous” before the prosecutor’s office came knocking, which probably means some internet censorship NGO was responsible for tipping off both prosecutors and the platform.

Last night did not quite usher in the feared Energy Apocalypse.

At the eleventh hour, the United States and Iran agreed to a Pakistan-mediated ceasefire. This ceasefire was said to comprise an immediate two-week pause in hostilities and the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz pending peace negotiations between Iran and the United States. Unfortunately it is nearly impossible to write anything about this ceasefire because most of what one might say about it is disputed and it appears to be crumbling as I type.

On Truth Social, Trump announced that a ten-point proposal from Iran had become “a workable basis” for negotiations during the ceasefire. Iranian media rapidly published the maximalist demands of this proposal, which include war reparations, an acceptance of the Iranian uranium enrichment programme and the withdrawal of U.S. soldiers from the Middle East. Soon, however, a “U.S. official” told the press that “The document being reported by media outlets is not the working framework.” Thus we do not know what is being negotiated at all, at least not right now; and what is more, CNN is now reporting that no formal written terms underpin the present ceasefire.

According to Pakistan, the ceasefire originally applied to Israeli hostilities against Lebanon, but Israel swiftly denied this and U.S. President Donald Trump has since confirmed that “Because of Hezbollah they [Lebanon] were not included in the deal.” This appears to be an effort to smooth things over with Israel, who were surprised and unhappy at the ceasefire announcement by the United States. Today has been the bloodiest day of the present Lebanon campaign, with Israel conducting airstrikes across the country.

The Strait of Hormuz remains largely impeded by Iranian forces. Ten ships passed through earlier today, and there is no hope normal Strait traffic will be restored immediately. Iran has also warned that “Any vessel trying to travel into the sea” without prior arrangement “will be targeted and destroyed.” Trump has allowed that Iran may continue to charge tolls for passage through the Strait “as a joint venture” with the United States.

Iran also continues to attack its Gulf neighbours and Israel, including a serious and successful drone assault on Kuwaiti energy facilities and desalination plants – the second such ominous attack since Monday. At least some of these strikes are retaliation for airstrikes by an unknown actor (perhaps the UAE) against Iranian oil facilities on Lavan Island. Iran has complained about ceasefire violations to Pakistan.

Right now, it looks a lot like the Americans have put down their weapons and joined the Iranians in declaring victory, while the Israelis redouble their efforts against Lebanon and Iran launches some of its most serious retaliatory missile and drone attacks since the war began. Maybe things will change soon.

UPDATE: Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi is threatening to scrap the ceasefire deal if Israel continues its attacks on Lebanon.

This may be a big deal.

Any escalation against energy infrastructure in Iran is highly dangerous, because it will invite Iran to retaliate against energy infrastructure in the Gulf states, which produce a great part of the world’s oil and gas. The worst result could be a years-long energy crisis that changes all of our lives even more profoundly than Covid. I’m not saying that’s going to happen or that it’s even likely to happen, but I want to be clear-eyed about the eventualities before us.

On 25 March, the United States sent via Pakistan a 15-point peace plan, demanding that the Iranians make substantial concessions with respect to their ballistic missile and nuclear programmes, and also that they reopen the Strait of Hormuz. Yesterday, the Iranians responded (also via Pakistan) with their own 10-point plan, which addresses “a protocol for safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz, the lifting of sanctions and reconstruction.” Trump has called the Iranian plan a “significant proposal” and a “very significant step,” but also “not good enough.”

I see a few possibilities:

The first is that the Americans are simply bluffing in an effort to intimidate the Iranians into making concessions. This might also explain some of Trump’s more erratic social media posts, which may be read as part of a madman strategy.

The second possibility is that Trump is totally serious, and that in a final effort to bring about a change in Iranian leadership he and the Israelis will go all out against energy targets in the Islamic Republic. I can also envision a third and middle path, in which the Americans and Israelis try a partial escalation by way of threatening more. Earlier I thought a bluff was most likely, as this kind of all-out escalation is something that was already trialled in the form of the South Pars gas field attack and swiftly walked back. Trump knows very well the potential consequences here. Now I’m not so sure, but as I said, I’m eager to hear your thoughts.

Otherwise, I want to offer this brief explanation to the many critics I provoked with my last piece: Many of you seem to have gotten the idea that I’m rooting for the Iranians or that I hope Trump suffers political catastrophe. You could not be more wrong about this. I’m fundamentally on your side here; I want the United States and Israel to realise their goals. Some are irritated that I seem to be validating what they see as anti-Trump media narratives, but that is not at all my purpose. I’m just pessimistic that the war is going well, and I’m far from the only one. A lot of people, including many sympathetic to the basic project of the war, have reached similar conclusions.

Not all gambles pay off, and we must employ a little sophistication in analysing Trump’s presidency. It’s plain that whatever Trump does, large portions of the establishment press will denounce him as a lunatic and his policies as a failure. They will do this whether or not Trump is right or his approach is successful, and we cannot just robotically invert press narratives about Trump and hope to be correct about the way of things. Trump is human, he’s a politician and not everything he touches will become gold. That’s okay, and he might still be able to turn the Iran war around. I think the chances are not great right now and while it could happen and I want it to happen, I also want to be honest with my readers and write pieces that will hold up well in the months and years to come.

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