Merz tells high-school students that the Americans lack an "exit strategy" in Iran, Trump slaps him with tariffs and troop withdrawals

Friedrich Merz the Fail Chancellor never disappoints.

On 27 April 2026, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz provoked the most serious diplomatic crisis of his chancellorship by criticising the Iran war before an audience of high-school students. His unguarded words succeeded in angering U.S. President Donald Trump and increasing the strain on an already bending NATO alliance, all for no reason, to no purpose and simply because the man is an idiot.

Last week Trump answered Merz’s faux pas by promising new tariffs on European automobiles and by directing the Pentagon to withdraw at least 5,000 American soldiers from German soil. Still worse, the Americans appear to have cancelled Biden-era plans to station a long-range missile battalion in the Federal Republic. NATO planners had considered the deployment crucial to counter the threat of Russian missiles stationed in Kaliningrad.

In this way, our rake-stepper in chief managed to torch entirely his careful efforts over the past year to build rapport with the American president and market himself alongside Finnish President Alexander Stubb and NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte as one of Europe’s foremost “Trump whisperers.” Trump whispering, for those who don’t know, is a dubious sport via which European politicians with particularly grave deficits of self-respect compete to flatter Trump in the hopes of collecting crumbs for the NATO alliance and the Ukraine war. The whisperers have been kissing Trump’s ass in the most abject ways for sixteen months now, but Merz’s stray words have wiped out all their winnings and then some. The man is truly a counter-Midas; everything he touches turns to shit.

Of course, we must keep all of this in perspective: Merz has been setting fire to his political prospects with an arsonist’s zeal since the Bundestag voted him into office. He has driven his approval ratings to a novel low of 13%, becoming probably the most despised political leader of any major Western country. Emmanuel Macron and Keir Starmer can only be grateful to the German Chancellor; he makes both look like men of the people by comparison.

Because Merz’s chancellorship is in serious crisis for other reasons and the shitlib German media are not about to take Merz to task for picking an unnecessary fight with their own bête noire, this episode has gotten less consideration than it deserves. In what follows I want to look at Merz’s epic diplomatic fail in detail. I want to explore what the hell is wrong with the German Chancellor and ask what all of this really means. Maybe you would like to subscribe to my blog to read further; without your support nothing I do here would be possible.