Timmy the Humpback Whaletard wandered into the Baltic two months ago, inspiring a massive media drama on the one hand by repeatedly beaching himself off the coast of Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, and on the other hand by refusing actually ever to die.
I shall have to remember that if I need to go into a chemist’s in Germany and my wife is trying to explain what she is looking for. Or is there a remedy that we should ask for? Unguentumantimerz?
No dying whale story is complete without a link to the exploded whale on an Oregon beach (https://youtu.be/V6CLumsir34?si=ydelLQi92aWSkJe3). After this experience, the preferred disposal method became in situ burial using a big excavator at low tide.
I still believe this could have ended so well with a big old Whale Roast right there at the beach. Beer, Whale burgers, and s'mores, more beer, fried whale tots, whale chiffon, whale soup, whale chowder, whale and vegetables, whale würsteltjes etc etc Such a huge opportunity to feed the impoverished "illegal immigrants"
It could really boost Merz popularity by leaps and bounds - just one big party
Europe is privileged to be inflicted with the carnival clown show to end al shows, with two strapping contenders racing to see who can reach the bottom (being unceremoniously ejected from office): Freddy Merz and Keir Starmer. The "Freddy and Kier Show."
Right Starmer now controls the inside track to political oblivion, but only because he faces an election shortly. Maybe after they sing their swan song duet, they can find employment together. They could bill themselves as "Nightmare on WillyBrantstrasse and Downing Street, Inc."
Cringe to think that Metz & Stammer are both near simultaneous products of two of the greatest Western cultures.
There is a lesson here for all of us willing to learn. Step one: get rid of corporate media. Step two: make elected representatives much more responsive to those they represent. Step three: make all political spending very transparent and very traceable. Step four: reduce the size and scope of all governments to a minimum. Step five . . .
The sheer incompetence of both is like watching a train wreck happen in slow motion. They both are doing one great service for their countries, though. By being this incompetent, they've opened up opportunities for new political parties to get into the game and shake up the status quo.
Thanks for all this info about Germany a country that we almost moved to but the pandemic came. A country that a long time ago I admired and I’m being there many times but that I don’t know much the last years, others things taking priority in my life. I’m so out of touch that I thought the Afd had won the election and you have a more “ conservative “ government but then it doesn’t have sense because they wouldn’t close all nuclear energy that is the most clean and practical. Nice to know a little bit more about this once wonderful country.
it hasn't made any difference for Merz either way – his prior closeness with Trump didn't seem to hurt and now the break seems to matter just as little. the domestic problems and Merz's domestic failures are too big for this really to matte.
Makes sense. Probably because the US is not a threat to Germany. But, I think it worked in Canada, probably because some people saw the 51st-state "joke" as a real menace.
Yes that is how he sounds. Recently he switched to podcast which I dislike so much I haven't even heard but a few sentences. See what happens. Someone proposed the US switch Minnesota for Albert LOL
Can testify to that - the Swedish state media and corporate Lügenpresse (yeah I know who also said that, but that's what they are) today proclaimed Merz the leader of nations standing up to Trump.
Reading state & "coprorat" media is starting to feel like self-harm.
From the article you linked, 'The Americans “very obviously went into this war without any strategy,” Merz said during a discussion with students in Marsberg in the Sauerland.'
I was hoping the article would specify the age of said students. My mind stubbornly keeps imagining him declaring this to a room full of kindergartners.
And though it certainly sounds awful to do that to our endearing Timmy (and the execrable Merz), if it can keep a small apartment building-full of pensioners recovering from their broken bones due to peculiar urban winter policies these days in Germany warm in their casts, it shall have been worth making an assortment of people cry. I can testify that the skin over healing fractures experiences surprising sensitivity to cold.
Believing the U.S. govt is doing something is a nice smokescreen. Trump has done everything on his own. Our congress even with republican majority hasn’t done a damn thing. It’s all been done by executive order which means should a democrat win the presidency it takes all but a stroke of the pen to reverse everything gained during the Trump administration. The globalists are working hard behind the scenes to kill this country and it’s working. The Dems are telling everyone what they will be doing once they get power back and it has republicans scared. I’d laugh if it wasn’t true. I hope the AfD doesn’t follow suit.
Is there any real sentiment in Germany for rearmament? I ask because it's rumoured that Porsche may move in that direction in order to expand their portfolio and I read something about possible future conscription. Mertz has to reindustrialise Germany somehow.
Also Mertz/Kallas/UVDL are always wittering on about the threat from Russia. Hopefully it may have escaped Putin's attention that said ladies apparently had grandfathers who were active in the Nazi party.
That said, here in the UK we can go one better. Blaise Metrewelli our shiny new head of MI6, had a grandfather Constantine Dobrowolski who was known as "The Butcher" for his role in the murder of Jews and Ukranian resistance fighters in WW 2.
The level of helplessness and absolutely bonkers communication strategies of the German Chancellor are hard to grasp even for the seasoned German-politics-watcher (me). The things you don't to - whine to the Spiegel, vilify your strategic partner to schoolchildren, sue citizens who call you "Pinoccio", make billions of Euros in debt and so on - he does them all. It's baffling - apparently he wanted the job enough to fight for it while lacking any shred of aptitude, common sense, or empathy with his beleagured citizens. What IS the man doing? And WHY?
Like the injured wild animal he is, looking for a quiet place to await the inevitable with privacy and dignity, Timmy has been constantly thwarted by interfering do-gooders.
Merz is the leading cause of vaginal dryness.
Stolen, with respect.
If Timmy makes his way to the Seine he could become the Humpback of Notre Dame
I enjoyed this too much.
LOLOL Ryan
I thought it was that not-so-fresh feeling.
If hemorrhoids could talk, they would sound like Merz.
I don't often use Preparation-H, but when I do, I buy extra-Merz strength.
Lolol. So much material. This could go on all day
😂
LOL!
The photos eugyppius chooses are priceless.
Good thing Timmy isn’t a sperm whale
Bwahahahahaha!!! I just laughed out loud so hard I woke my husband up. I’ll be laughing for days. 🤣
That's awesome!
Ouch.
I shall have to remember that if I need to go into a chemist’s in Germany and my wife is trying to explain what she is looking for. Or is there a remedy that we should ask for? Unguentumantimerz?
LOL
That's what Ethel said....
I am hard-pressed to find a politician who wouldn't.
yeah, there's plenty of the female one's who are primary causes of erectile dysfunction too.
especially this one:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosa_DeLauro
Spock's sister?
Spock's grandmother (in what passes for her enfeebled mind)
My first thought when I read Herr Merz’s comments was that President Trump must be thinking “With friends like this, who needs enemies?”
No dying whale story is complete without a link to the exploded whale on an Oregon beach (https://youtu.be/V6CLumsir34?si=ydelLQi92aWSkJe3). After this experience, the preferred disposal method became in situ burial using a big excavator at low tide.
The very best narrative about this is the one by Dave Barry, which appeared on his substack earlier this year.
It was part of my childhood, unforgettable.
After seeing the cars in the youtube clip, I see why they would now prefer to bury whales in situ instead of exploding them.
OMG that was that awful fishy smell!
I still believe this could have ended so well with a big old Whale Roast right there at the beach. Beer, Whale burgers, and s'mores, more beer, fried whale tots, whale chiffon, whale soup, whale chowder, whale and vegetables, whale würsteltjes etc etc Such a huge opportunity to feed the impoverished "illegal immigrants"
It could really boost Merz popularity by leaps and bounds - just one big party
You don't want to do that. Once they've had a taste, they'll just start roaming your parks to hunt your park whales.
😬😂
what a great idea Rosemary! but of course most of these Whale-a-holics are probably vegan!
yes, I imagine most of them would be scarred for life just like the whale explosion many years ago.
Bits and pieces!
Also those rednecks knew exactly what they were doing.
Thank you. I thought I’d have to post that.
Europe is privileged to be inflicted with the carnival clown show to end al shows, with two strapping contenders racing to see who can reach the bottom (being unceremoniously ejected from office): Freddy Merz and Keir Starmer. The "Freddy and Kier Show."
Right Starmer now controls the inside track to political oblivion, but only because he faces an election shortly. Maybe after they sing their swan song duet, they can find employment together. They could bill themselves as "Nightmare on WillyBrantstrasse and Downing Street, Inc."
Cringe to think that Metz & Stammer are both near simultaneous products of two of the greatest Western cultures.
There is a lesson here for all of us willing to learn. Step one: get rid of corporate media. Step two: make elected representatives much more responsive to those they represent. Step three: make all political spending very transparent and very traceable. Step four: reduce the size and scope of all governments to a minimum. Step five . . .
... two of the ONE-TIME greatest Western cultures...
FIFY
Labour, though. They actually consider it a point of pride to keep useless leadersin place.
For some reason, they bring to mind the Duke and the Dauphin chapters in Huckleberry Finn.
The sheer incompetence of both is like watching a train wreck happen in slow motion. They both are doing one great service for their countries, though. By being this incompetent, they've opened up opportunities for new political parties to get into the game and shake up the status quo.
With Merz, he may be headed to the same fate as Minnesota governor Tim Walz, whose home people were reportedly driving by while shouting "retard!"
I suppose in the UK or on some parts of the continent that could get one visited by the authorities.
is that even allowed in Minnesota?
In Minnesota yes, but in Germany calling a politician a name like "retard" or "Schwachkopf" will (sadly) have legal consequences.
so truth is not a legal defense
Thanks for all this info about Germany a country that we almost moved to but the pandemic came. A country that a long time ago I admired and I’m being there many times but that I don’t know much the last years, others things taking priority in my life. I’m so out of touch that I thought the Afd had won the election and you have a more “ conservative “ government but then it doesn’t have sense because they wouldn’t close all nuclear energy that is the most clean and practical. Nice to know a little bit more about this once wonderful country.
“No Chancellor before me has ever had to endure anything like this”
Oh really? I'm thinking the ghosts of Heinrich Brüning, Franz von Papen and Kurt von Schleicher would like to contest that claim.
Yeah dude is just a giant, offended pussy
Do not underestimate the positive effect that openly oposing Trump can have in some countries, like 90% of Europe.
it hasn't made any difference for Merz either way – his prior closeness with Trump didn't seem to hurt and now the break seems to matter just as little. the domestic problems and Merz's domestic failures are too big for this really to matte.
Makes sense. Probably because the US is not a threat to Germany. But, I think it worked in Canada, probably because some people saw the 51st-state "joke" as a real menace.
Yes, Canadians maintain an odd inability to understand when they're being trolled.
They ended trolling themselves LOL
Was humor in Canada not outlawed by Trudeau the 1st ?
About 50 years ago?
What about SCTV?!!
I read the posts of some Stacker who thinks Alberta province might separate from Canada. I am not so sure that is faisable, but hey you never know.
I believe that's a movement there.
Yes that is how he sounds. Recently he switched to podcast which I dislike so much I haven't even heard but a few sentences. See what happens. Someone proposed the US switch Minnesota for Albert LOL
There is now a 300,000-signature referendum to that effect (if what I read wasn't a joke.)
Canada is a nation of bedwetters, dominated by bureaucrats and anxious old women.
'the domestic problems and Merz's domestic failures are too big for this really to matter.'
Actually, that's kind of a comforting thought. There's actually a limit to the power of TDS!
Can testify to that - the Swedish state media and corporate Lügenpresse (yeah I know who also said that, but that's what they are) today proclaimed Merz the leader of nations standing up to Trump.
Reading state & "coprorat" media is starting to feel like self-harm.
For people not fluid in German: "Lügenpresse" translates to lying news media.
Not make a false impression -- I had to look up that word myself.
From the article you linked, 'The Americans “very obviously went into this war without any strategy,” Merz said during a discussion with students in Marsberg in the Sauerland.'
I was hoping the article would specify the age of said students. My mind stubbornly keeps imagining him declaring this to a room full of kindergartners.
Perhaps "kindergartner" is the level to which Herr Merz aspires.
He's apparently given up trying to communicate with grownups.
That seems right.
Senator Patty Murray*'s preposterous "Osama the daycare provider" speech was given to a group of high school students.
--------------------------------
*Don't look at me! Yes, she's senator from my state. No, no, I did not vote for her.
The poor guy is just trying to make it to Dignitas in Switzerland but geography and topography are against him.
Against them, possibly. I can see arguments for calling Merz a whaletard too.
that is a good one! Whaletard. Time to get the huge Barbecue fired up.
With the energy sector as it is right now I suggest better to get the blubber-rendering cauldrons ready instead.
absolutely! "cycle of life" going on here
And though it certainly sounds awful to do that to our endearing Timmy (and the execrable Merz), if it can keep a small apartment building-full of pensioners recovering from their broken bones due to peculiar urban winter policies these days in Germany warm in their casts, it shall have been worth making an assortment of people cry. I can testify that the skin over healing fractures experiences surprising sensitivity to cold.
“No Chancellor before me has ever had to endure anything like this”.
The really sad part is that Fred Mertz (sic) thinks this says more about his critics than it does about him. What a poltroon.
The Fred Mertz resemblance has occurred to me also.
Although the comparison is doing Ethyl's poor husband an injustice.
Believing the U.S. govt is doing something is a nice smokescreen. Trump has done everything on his own. Our congress even with republican majority hasn’t done a damn thing. It’s all been done by executive order which means should a democrat win the presidency it takes all but a stroke of the pen to reverse everything gained during the Trump administration. The globalists are working hard behind the scenes to kill this country and it’s working. The Dems are telling everyone what they will be doing once they get power back and it has republicans scared. I’d laugh if it wasn’t true. I hope the AfD doesn’t follow suit.
Pigeontard Chancellor.
Is there any real sentiment in Germany for rearmament? I ask because it's rumoured that Porsche may move in that direction in order to expand their portfolio and I read something about possible future conscription. Mertz has to reindustrialise Germany somehow.
Also Mertz/Kallas/UVDL are always wittering on about the threat from Russia. Hopefully it may have escaped Putin's attention that said ladies apparently had grandfathers who were active in the Nazi party.
That said, here in the UK we can go one better. Blaise Metrewelli our shiny new head of MI6, had a grandfather Constantine Dobrowolski who was known as "The Butcher" for his role in the murder of Jews and Ukranian resistance fighters in WW 2.
Following the family tradition springs to mind.
The level of helplessness and absolutely bonkers communication strategies of the German Chancellor are hard to grasp even for the seasoned German-politics-watcher (me). The things you don't to - whine to the Spiegel, vilify your strategic partner to schoolchildren, sue citizens who call you "Pinoccio", make billions of Euros in debt and so on - he does them all. It's baffling - apparently he wanted the job enough to fight for it while lacking any shred of aptitude, common sense, or empathy with his beleagured citizens. What IS the man doing? And WHY?
Why does he cling so to his office? It's hard to see the attraction.
Timmy, or Freddy?
Like the injured wild animal he is, looking for a quiet place to await the inevitable with privacy and dignity, Timmy has been constantly thwarted by interfering do-gooders.
Merz is more like a stubborn fungal infection.
Domestic politics bores him. He wants to walk past honour formations and pose with important people in front of flags. He’s a simple guy.
An entire country held hostage by the ego of one man.
Too simple to notice that most of the country loathes him? Future does not look bright.
He's still relieved to have made it past the ides of March.