Journalists Continue Their Valiant Struggle to Make Monkeypox a Thing

Monkeypox will never be a thing

Remember that scary rash-cum-fever from Africa that was going to be The Next Pandemic before it turned out to infect almost exclusively gay men having unprotected sex with other gay men? Well, you’ll be happy to know that there are still a few media outlets out there trying to make somebody care about it:

Monkeypox is causing devastating outcomes for people with severely weakened immune systems, even as new cases continue to decline in the United States, according to a federal report released Wednesday. At least 10 people hospitalized with monkeypox have died.

More than 28,000 cases of monkeypox have been reported since the U.S. outbreak began in May. While the vast majority recover within weeks, some patients with untreated HIV experienced especially dire consequences, such as losing function of their brain or spinal cord, eyes and lungs despite being given antiviral medication.

The report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is based on the agency’s consultations with clinicians treating 57 U.S. patients hospitalized with monkeypox complications from the outbreak’s peak in mid-August through Oct. 10. It presents the most comprehensive picture of the severe consequences of infection and who is most at risk for serious complications.

You know what other viruses cause “devastating outcomes for people with severely weakened immune systems”? Basically all of them. If you’re sick and dying even the common cold can be dangerous, and here monkeypox is the least of anyone’s worries. Ten deaths (of which seven are still “under investigation” with no officially determined cause) from 28,000 cases works out to a case fatality rate of .036%.

But wait! Monkeypox might still turn out to be bad, somehow, maybe! The outbreak might “accelerate and affect increasingly wider communities,” if it could only be persuaded to circulate among heterosexuals! Or maybe “the virus could get established in an animal host”! Just don’t ask how that could happen! (And who knew the Post would stoop to such unsavoury homophobia?)

It’s funny to laugh at these guys, but sobering to consider how ramped up the pandemic panic machine must be, that even this obvious non-starter got the mileage that it did. This bodes poorly for the future.