NATO crisis deepens as Trump demands Denmark cede Greenland to the United States following the failure of the Nobel Committee to award him the Peace Prize
A lot has happened since I last wrote, most of it relating to an enormous wintry island called Greenland, which was first settled by the Norse in the Middle Ages and which has been a part of the Danish kingdom since the eighteenth century.
The first such thing that happened, was that Danish Foreign Minister Lars Lokke Rasmussen met with U.S. Vice President J.D. Vance and Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Wednesday to discuss Trump’s demands that Denmark allow the United States to assume sovereign control of Greenland, perhaps via some kind of sale. Rasmussen failed to reach any accommodation with the Trump administration, telling reporters ominously that “It’s clear that the president has this wish of conquering over Greenland.” Nevertheless, Rasmussen said the two sides had agreed to establish a very hopeful “working group” to address American security concerns in the region.
The next thing that happened, was that the White House contradicted Rasmussen’s characterisation of this “working group.” It was not a happy working group to hash out security measures for Greenland, according to Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, but a rather more doomful kind of working group intended purely for “technical talks on the acquisition of Greenland.” What had sounded distantly optimistic was back to sounding pretty bad again.
At this point the happenings began to escalate. Eager to make an epic display of retardation demonstrate resolve and independence in the face of these sudden American ambitions on Danish territory, a variety of European countries announced they would send soldiers to Greenland in a display of “military solidarity” with Denmark. Germany sent a grand total of 13 or 15 soldiers (reports vary) to defend the icy island against the Americans. They departed on a matte grey A400M Atlas military transport with plenty of press on hand for photographs. You could almost hear Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” between the lines of the press coverage.
Alas, the Eurotards also did not want to possibly in some hypothetical world perhaps overstep by maybe potentially creating conditions for anything that might conceivably be interpreted by the Americans as a show of force on Greenland itself, so the Luftwaffe A400M landed politely in Denmark, thousands of kilometers away from the disputed territory. From there, all the soldiers boarded a completely non-threatening commercial airline to Nuuk, Greenland’s capital. While this was happening, German Defence Minister Boris Pistorius desperately assured the press that it was a purely routine and preplanned mission.
The next thing to happen, while our soldiers were sitting in Greenland for no reason, was that all these efforts to make a statement while not really making a statement to avoid annoying the Americans backfired, in that the Americans got annoyed anyway. U.S. President Donald Trump announced on Truth Social that all participants in this publicity junket would be slapped with punitive 10% tariffs, to be increased by 1 June 2026 to 25% tariffs, “until such time as a Deal is reached for the Complete and Total purchase of Greenland.”
Hours after Trump posted this note, the Greenland weather soured and our soldiers cancelled an “exploratory tour” they had planned for Sunday afternoon and returned to the Nuuk airport to fly home a few hours ahead of schedule. This lent the impression that Trump’s wall-of-text Truth Social post had scared them into a retreat from Greenland, inspiring hours of social media mockery. In the end we did succeed in making a statement, if not precisely the one we had intended.
In response to Trump’s punitive tariffs, the Eurotards decided that they no longer feel like paying $1.5 trillion for the privilege of enduring 15% unilateral tariffs on all EU exports to the United States, and so they scrapped the trade deal they’d hashed out with the Trump administration last July.
Not content with all the happenings so far, Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre decided to initiate still another happening yesterday, when he wrote a letter to Trump in protest of the retaliatory sanctions that Trump had just announced. Trump responded to Støre with this amazing note (yes, it is real):
Dear Jonas:
Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS, I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace, although it will always be predominant, but can now think about what is good and proper for the United States of America. Denmark cannot protect that land from Russia or China, and why do they have a “right of ownership” anyway? There are no written documents, it’s only that a boat landed there hundreds of years ago, but we had boats landing there, also. I have done more for NATO than any other person since its founding, and now, NATO should do something for the United States. The World is not secure unless we have Complete and Total Control of Greenland.
Thank you!
President DJT
In his recent New York Times interview, Trump said that “it may be a choice” to obtain Greenland even at the cost of the NATO alliance, and he refused to rule out annexing the island with military force. This is significant because no viable legal or political path exists for selling the territory to the United States, and Greenlanders themselves are overwhelmingly opposed to leaving the Danish kingdom to become a freely associated U.S. territory.
Trumps reaction towards Norway is reminiscent of the CCP reaction to dissident Liu Xiaobo receiving the prize in 2010. China too acted as if the winner is chosen by the Norwegian government, and not the independent committee (albeit selected by parliament) who actually does it.
The Chinese punished Norway with a break in diplomatic relations for 6 years, leading to massive economic costs for export industry and to Norwegian leaders having to grovel at the stinky feet of Chinese leaders for years to reestablish economic ties. But the Chinese reaction was seen more as a sort of natural disaster, where moral condemnation was futile, than an action by rational political actors, and so much negotiating was done in the shadows to appease the asian super power. In the case of Trump however, condemnation is now unanimous.
One great irony here is that this years Nobel prize has been heavily criticized in Norway for being Trump-friendly, in that it went to a Trump-supporter. Criticism of the committee – who once awarded the prize to Obama for merely giving nice feels – from the left is rare to say the least. And now anyone in Norway who's ever been even neutral to Trump (very, very few) will be attacked with variants of "how do you nationalists like him now??" A portion of the very few Trump-supporters still like him, and have to balance the joy of seeing eurocrat Støre being pressured with the depressing fact of our country and economy again being used as a geopolitical pawn. As you have argued, this is all in all very bad for any Norwegian mega/maga-sympathizers, and even just the center-right. Sad.
Please Lord, let us finally be rid of NATO and let the Eurotard Islamic nations defend themselves. We shouldn't spend one nickel defending these scummy ingrates. While we're at it, kick all the criminals out of the UN building and use it to house homeless veterans. Its long past due that we cut ties with the garbage, anti-Democratic nations in Europe. Let them make their windmills and censor their people while we return our attention to America First where it belongs.