591 Comments

I'm still shaking with rage that so many selfish people refused to tie an onion to their belt during the worst of the pandemic. Show me one study that says it doesn't prevent disease, Nazis!

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When I refused to wear a mask, I used to announce that I also wouldn’t avoid the cracks on the pavement.

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I so hope your mother's back is ok!

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😆 ha! Good one!

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Do you also run through the house with scissors?

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I would moo when the socially distanced line would moove forward.

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Baaah Baaaah

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You’re supposed to cut open the onion and leave it on your bedside table at night. Or put them in your socks. Facebook told me so long before the pandemic even happened. SCIENCE!!!

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This is wonderful science to explain why you won't wear a mask. "Don't worry, I have an onion in my sock".

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yes ! i am sorry I did not read through the comments first. This is REAL science because it helps. proven and tried.

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If only your mask beak were longer

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I made a beaked mask from cardboard and duct tape, complete with onion roots hanging from the nostrils, and wore it proudly to several social functions heavily populated by the crazed Covidians. Oddly, nobody said a thing about it.

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They were envious of your dapper accessories

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Beau Brummel lives!

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They probably thought it was a prototype of the next mandate.

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Genius.

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So I keep telling myself.

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Pics or GTFO 🤣🤣🤣

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Oh geez 😳

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😂🤣😂🤣

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I wore a plague doctor mask to some protests. It totally works, trust me.

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Well I heard it wards off the MIASMA from the dark ages!...;)

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Lol!

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Onions be for burns, or for lurvy soup when you'n be all stuffed up. You carry a dead chicken round yer neck for keep germs off. Oh wait that's for dogs that has killed them chickens. You prevent disease by walking widdershins round the graveyard while carrying a black cat in a sack. Science has advanced so much I can't keep up.

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And don't forget we went to the moon! With duct tape, reynolds wrap and software on a floppy disk. But now we don't know how to recreate that science to do it again. Science has gone so far into the future it's left the recent past behind and gone straight to the ancient past.

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It was the fashion at the time, after all

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I've been saying since the pandemic began: Pockets full of posies saved literally billions of lives from the Black death. I've had posies in my pockets throughout and only had covid once and have not been hospitalised or died. Clearly, pockets full of posies prevent hospitalisations and save lives. Why is the government not doing something about this obvious Posie gap in our pandemic response?

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You know what's next: "ring around the uranium".

Thanks to the US congress critters.

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Seriously, ya'all: you are not a horse, you are not a cow. Leave the posies alone.

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That's because onions don't work (only for horses). Stick a turnip down your trousers like every sane, unselfish person would do!

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Hey, is that a turnip in your pants or you just happy to see me?

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Youn can get a lorvy turnip at Baldrick's shop. The best ones really impress the wimmin folk.

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Though Mrs Miggin says that "he's made that hoses will last all morning".

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It would have worked better without the spelling errors that I now cannot correct.....

HORSES....

WILLY.

FFS

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Ha!

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Would this be a recommended protocol for women?

And/or trans?

Asking for a friend (no, really!)

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Wimmin is a mythical beast.

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Why don't other people put bananas in their ears to stop the alligators from coming to Sesame Street?

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Because that only works for crocodiles.

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Onions? I thought it was supposed to be garlic cloves! I wore mine in public dutifully, removing them only while eating. It could have been so much worse!

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You're tribute has me all choked up Martyn!...:)

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Garlic is for vampires

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Yup. And even a vampire wouldn't take a vaxxed blood transfusion

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I never thought about them...... They'll be starving and the jabless will have to be more careful.

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Finally an excuse to buy silver and keep huge bunches of roses about the house.

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Are they the ones who do cricket?

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Look, I did tie an onion to my belt and only twice was I attacked by vampires, so don’t dismiss #Science.

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Those were IRS agents.

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How do you tell them apart?

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The vampires once had a mortal soul. So they will shy from crosses.

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Lmao

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Good one Paula!😆

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Thanks y'all! This thread gave me so many laughs I needed this morning.

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Onion? So 7th century. It's been shown garlic works best.

In the literature, I notice that even among onioners there's disagreement as they're divided along the yellows, whites and reds.

We need more RCT studies. It's just common sense garlic would be most effective.

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you forgot to mention Vidilia. We are all in here on Vidalia Onions in the land of the walking dead.

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I honestly believe someone was going to chime in with Vidalia.

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The Varsity Onion ring is the holy grail of onion rings...made with Vidalia Onions.

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as a matter of fact, it might be worth a try. We used to cut up an onion and put on the bedside table when we had a clogged nose. and it helped. (onions are antiviral)

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Oh, onions tied to your belt don't protect against deadly viruses, how ridiculous! We all know you should wear them to keep the alligators away. I've been wearing one for years and haven't seen one single alligator here in Brooklyn, which proves they work. I do avoid selfish and reckless people who don't wear them though, as I fear (as in abject terror) that they will attract rabid alligators.

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hahaha grandma Bear, I am sure onions work in Brooklyn against alligators. I would not venture too far in Florida though, the alligators there might not know about the onion trick. Jeez this is the crown of the substack today !!!

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Sadly an 85 year old woman in a nearby mobile home park was walking her dog near a pond. (A BIG NO NO DO NOT EVER DO THIS!! IN FLORIDA) when she was dragged in by a 10 ft gator. She did not survive. There is a video which shows she was sans onions at the time. I think that is proof enough. In all seriousness I can't imagine the terror she went through.

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Oh, wow! What a terrifying way to go! And, yes, I suspect onions work better here in NYC than in places like Florida.😉

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The real test is to brave the NYC alligator infested sewer.

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👍🤣 I'm going to be running for office (city council) this year, so I've invested in high, strong boots. Not sure how many alligators there are, but I will be venturing into an infested sewer, of that there is little doubt, lol.😨

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High boots are required wearing for politics. You might also need a pair of pointy toed roach stompers for some city ventures. Best of luck to you.

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I only wear a mask when I don't want to smell the onion.

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i hung garlic on my door

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Free range, organic, heirloom onion? Or generic yellow from StuffMart?

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This is simply evidence of why reading the NYT for information is a waste of time. Now, if you want to read it to understand how people in Brooklyn think then you should go for it. I would recommend staying far away from Brooklyn unless you want some good pizza. You could also read it for comedy. For the midwits, surgeons and nurses wear masks in the operating room so that they do not breathe, cough or sneeze into the open wound on your body.

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and it's been known for quite awhile that masks in operating rooms are not effective either - the best they do is prevent the unlikely chance that a surgeon or nurse would sneeze or cough out huge globules of phlegm or other large particulates directly onto the patient. Silly. All of it is just silly. Nannies gotta nanny.

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True! When my self-righteous RN friend can't back up her argument for masking, she resorts to "Well, then, tell your doctor when he's operating on you to remove his mask." Now I can tell her that I didn't even have to do that. I had a minor office procedure done last month and the surgeon didn't wear a mask! (His assistant was masked, but 1 out of 2 is still a win for me.)

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It's terrifying that an RN doesn't understand the difference between virii and bacteria. Or why the masks are worn. They are not talismanic!

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Actually, Mek, masks are talismanic. That is EXACTLY why they are worn and worshipped, don't you know!?!?

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SatanCon 2023 requires the talismanic face diapers, the bioweapon clot shot and drag queens. Cuz science!

https://valiantnews.com/2023/02/largest-satanic-gathering-in-history-mandates-jabs-masks-and-includes-drag-show/

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Satan is horrified and won't be attending.

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I truly don't understand this. Isn't the rejection of societal conventions one of the purposes of Satanism?

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Virii… That’ll be the name of my next band!

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"Virii and Villi." You could be the next Milli Vanilli.

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Masks are worn during surgical procedures to protect the surgical site from bacterial contamination. Nothing to do with stopping viruses.

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YES--this is so obvious, why don't even the surgeons understand this...and then not very effective at preventing oral and facial bacteria from contaminating the open surgical site at that.

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A healthy patient's immune system is capable of dealing with almost any airborne bacterial invasion.

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My surgeon and his team all wore masks,cause they were drueling over their paychecks. 🤤

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There are studies, including a large (N=3000) one in orthopedic surgery and the Unmasked docs had *fewer* post-op infections.

They are merely fluid catchers, to protect the vulnerable incision, and keep bits of the patient off the lunch menu. Nothing more.

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There are several RCTs where some ORs were masked and some were not. In no case was there any difference in outcomes/infections/whatever for either staff or patients. It is just as much a fraud in the hospital as it is on the street.

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And they completely forgot all their physics lessons...like "jet propulsion" effects

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Yes. I often wondered if doctors put 2 and 2 together when they scrubbed in after fiddling with their theatre masks between shifts?

How could they be so oblivious/obtuse?

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I do not think I want a nurse or surgeon hacking horrendous hairballs anywhere near me. Mask or no mask. I like to think that somewhere during medical training the difference between the patient and a spittoon would come up just in case.

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Your being tended to by cats dessed as nurses?

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Well some did have claws and some were rather haughty....

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I do see people still wearing masks on my commuter train in the suburbs of Philadelphia. They are definitely a minority at this point and where I travel is quite Woke in some areas.

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I see people wearing masks when walking alone outside in the Bay Area. And my dentist still requires wearing a mask until they start running gear in my mouth which throws any amount of goop in the air. Personally, I'd wear a mask working there just because of the enormous amount of saliva and plaque droplets there must be floating around. Ewww.

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Surgeons, surgical techs and nurses wear masks in the OR so that the various bodily liquids (blood, feces, etc.) from the patient on the operating table don’t get in their mouths and noses.

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There was a study to this effect that I’m too lazy to look up

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I think you're probably referring to this study which showed no benefit from surgical masks in reducing postoperative wound infections:

Tunevall TG. Postoperative wound infections and surgical face masks: a controlled study. World J Surg. 1991 May-Jun;15(3):383-7; discussion 387-8. doi: 10.1007/BF01658736. PMID: 1853618.

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Actually, there have been several studies to this effect. I too, am too lazy to dig into my references for them. Hell, all of us already know anyway. (The folks who do not know wouldn't believe the studies anyway!)

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Fortunately I am not so lazy. I think it is very useful to give people real evidence to cite, as using such evidence I have actually been able to convince not a few people to change their ideals on this.

Here is a 2021 article that "systematically review[s]randomized control trials on mask efficacy in the operating room as a means to preventing surgical site clinical infection."

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2590170221000248

Conclusion: "The results indicate no difference in surgical site infections between the operations where masks were worn versus the operations where no mask was worn."

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Thanks! SSI results seem to consistently find the same thing. The one about which I was thinking was earlier than this one, though.

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You're preaching to the choir here. You should give me your twitter handle so I can watch the entertainment when you have conversations with them about masking. You can find some of my entertaining exchanges @jimgleeson

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I long ago stopped getting into with maskholes. That said, my twitter handle is @wiltster where you may follow me at your own risk.

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Those words could have been taken straight from Tony Fauci’s lips the past three years… or decades.

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Yes. See the Neil Orr study from 1981.

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But, psychological priming taught people they work in operating rooms, years ago. We're teaching people to unlearn a lifetime belief.

http://basementrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/mash-season-6-16-patent-4077-surgery-surgical-clamp-margaret-hot-lips-hawkeye-pierce-alan-alda-loretta-swit-review-episode-guide-list.jpg

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They also protect the surgical team from splashes of bodily fluids. (Oooops! Nicked an artery. Clamp that, will you?)

There have been studies on masking's effect on patient outcomes. They showed no effect. But why spend money on an actual study when surgeons will 1.) continue to wear masks to guard against splash; or 2.) continue to wear masks, because just like many other people surgeons are still liable to superstition.

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Also, to deflect blood splashes from *their* nasal and oral passages. Eyes, too, but obviously that's glasses and not masks.

In EMT school, it was always made clear to us that the gloves, glasses -- and if desired, masks -- were for *our* protection, not the patient's. But that was 10 years ago. I guess "Duh Science" has changed since then.

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Yeah, but folks in the grocery store without masks could spontaneously combust spewing fascia and blood all over you.

You can never be too safe Mek!....:)

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I used to sometimes cause that to happen when I scanned someone's brain, but I don't do it in public anymore out of consideration for others who might get splattered.

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LOL.

Remember when the mask farce started to unravel and the new argument became that we should wear one out of respect for those who do?

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My pointless gesture protects you; your irrational fear protects me; and our fascist mandates protect grandma!

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I never heard that specific argument, initially it was out of respect for or to protect others, before they came back to saying it protected the wearer also. I think wearing a mask out of respect for those who do is only valid if you want provide equity for the ugly. I initially made that joke about a year ago, but I recently saw a study, I think from Finland, where it showed that, actually, unattractive people were more likely to wear masks.

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Yeah it was GAME OVER when they came up with the most diabolical phrase ever:

"My mask protects you"

Let the social tyranny Hunger Games begin. No "tribute" was enough sacrifice at that point.

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That's sad, as I can tell you, I prefer an ugly face to a blank mask.

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Ryan Gardner: I sure do remember that.

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