Politically hysterical Bluesky dork fails to shoot his way through security in latest disturbing Trump assassination attempt

On Saturday some leftoid lunatic tried to kill Trump again.

His name is Cole Allen, and he is a 2017 Caltech grad most recently employed as a standardised test tutor. He booked a room at the Washington Hilton late last week, anticipating the 2026 White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner scheduled for Saturday evening. This was the very hotel where John Hinkley shot U.S. President Ronald Reagan in 1981.

At 8:24pm on Saturday, Allen sent a typically verbose and retarded 1,000-word manifesto to his family. Then, using his status as a hotel guest to bypass the outermost security perimeter, he made his way to the concourse ballroom where Trump and many other high administration officials were seated. Allen had armed himself with a shotgun, a handgun and various knives. At 8:34pm, he opened fire and rushed a security checkpoint near the ballroom stairs.

Allen did not get very far. Security officials rapidly disarmed and tackled the would-be assassin; he ended up stripped and handcuffed on the carpet with a foil blanket around his waist. One Secret Service member was shot during the struggle, but his ballistic vest spared him serious injury.

Secret Service and other security personnel evacuated the ballroom and there were no other injuries. Afterwards Trump held a press conference at the White House, still wearing his dinner jacket. He answered a reporter’s question with signature bravado, insisting that “the most impactful people, the people that do the most … the people that make the biggest impact, they’re the ones that they go after … I hate to say I’m honoured by that.” He also used the security lapse to press the case for his White House ballroom project.

Allen’s motives were everything you were already thinking. In his manifesto, he wrote somewhat incoherently (and in reference to the Epstein scandal) that he was “no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes.” He proceeded to outline the various “rules of engagement” that he had set for himself, claiming that he intended above all to target “administration officials (not including Mr. Patel¹) … prioritized from highest-ranking to lowest.” He also commented on the lax security at the event:

Like, I expected security cameras at every bend, bugged hotel rooms, armed agents every 10 feet, metal detectors out the wazoo. What I got (who knows, maybe they’re pranking me!) is nothing.

Allen signed his manifesto with the cringe name “coldForce,” which turns out to be his Bluesky nom de guerre. He spent his time on that platform angrily venting a lot of standard-issue anti-Trump bile that it is not worth my time or yours to rehearse here, and that is only useful because disingenuous idiots from former U.S. President Barack Obama down to every last establishment German journalist were still pretending as of yesterday that Allen’s motives were some kind of deep mystery.

Three points:

1) This is third assassination attempt Trump has endured since his political comeback. On 13 July 2024, Thomas Matthew Crooks notoriously grazed Trump’s ear and murdered an innocent bystander in his attempt to kill the forty-seventh president-to-be at a rally near Butler, Pennsylvania; and two months later on 15 September, the Secret Service caught a deranged Russo-Ukrainian war activist named Ryan Wesley Routh lying in wait for Trump outside his golf club in West Palm Beach, Florida. The Butler shooting was only possible because of astonishing lapses in event security, and as of now it seems that similar lapses at the Washington Hilton are why Cole could make it as far as he did on Saturday. We’ll very likely see more assassination attempts before Trump’s presidency is over.

2) Before Allen Cole, there was Austin Tucker Martin – a 21 year-old who was shot dead on 22 February 2026 by Secret Service while attempting to enter Mar-a-Lago. Trump was away in Washington at the time. This makes Cole not only the third would-be assassin, but also the second armed anti-Trump lunatic with Epstein obsessions to try something violent. I have many disagreements with the irascible Michael Tracey, but he is completely right that media promotion of the various overblown and often flatly untrue Epstein conspiracy theories is dangerous and also deeply irresponsible. This kind of mythmaking has far more emotional potency than the Russiagate nonsense that it has replaced.

3) The establishment German press have treated these events with typical maturity and even-handedness. Severely pinched US Spiegel correspondent Nicola Abé has shat out a piece declaring that “the dramatic incident at the Washington Hilton comes at a rather opportune time for Trump,” because it has allowed the forty-seventh president to “cast himself as a combative hero.” ZDF Washington correspondent Elmar Theveßen, who spent the days after Charlie Kirk’s assassination peddling malicious and transparent slander, quickly got to work Amerisplaining to Germans why Trump is the real villain and the progressive left establishment the real victim of Allen’s failed shooting:

Donald Trump’s critics fear that he could exploit this for political purposes to strengthen the security apparatus, potentially deploying the National Guard and regular armed forces within the country, including during the autumn elections. And in fact, a new task force has recently been established here to proactively track down terrorism within the country, and Donald Trump has now defined terrorism so broadly that dissidents, civil rights groups, and even the Democratic Party could come under scrutiny. And in that respect, there is a climate of uncertainty here, to which incidents like the one last night naturally contribute.

1. World’s strangest exception.