Timmy is the name the German press have given to a confused humpback whale who got himself caught in a fishing net off the coast of Mecklenburg-Vorpommern in early March.
You have really done it this time. You called a WHALE, a sacred animal, a fucking RETARD?!?! Look out the window—they probably already have you surrounded!
The solution for Timmy lies with Germany’s former ally; a Japanese whaling ship would know just what to do re the obviously damaged, but still edible, Timothy.
Why is it that no matter how cleverly we devise a political system, the same old human devils (greed, authoritarianism, ideology, liars, ego, etc) always manage to eventually make it unworkable.
I suspect either the Chinese secret fishing fleet will get him one night, or the Icelanders will. When we had a ‘Viking’ tour of Iceland a few years ago, the Vikings - of all people did not offer an excursion to Hvalfjörður when in Rekjavik. We did see smoked Puffin on a menuboard, but went to SeaBaron’s seafood restaurant - sehr lecker!
Try please to get Wes Anderson to re-constitute the cast of The Life Aquatic to get this on the big screen. To preserve your anonymity and score diversity points you are really going to need someday I beg you to insist that you are portrayed by Seu Jorge unless perhaps he has a Lesbian sister.
Hrm... a suicidal whale describes *so many* governments around the world, though. I don't think it's fair for Germany to keep this analogy entirely to itself. ;)
I frequently use the phrase "pooping around" now, I believe coined by Eugyppius and originally applied to Bill Gates. It is an apt description of Gates, Timmy the Whaletard, and also pantsuit EU politicians pretending to be important while their states dissolve into insolvency.
No creature is allowed to die any more. All must be rescued. The flu/pneumonia used be a great way for 85-year-olds to quietly check out -- the Corona effect means we must now be propped up to age 90. Poor Timmy just wants to die peacefully without being shark food.
A local farmer collects donations to feed chickens past egg-laying stage so they don't need to go to the stew pot. Soon the left will join the Catholic church in proclaiming that Every Sperm is Sacred and cause PornHub to go bankrupt.
"No creature is allowed to die any more. All must be rescued..." ... except, of course, for gvmnts also implementing their ever-expanding 'assisted-suicide' programs to include not only terminally ill sufferers, but also simply the depressed, the mentally handicapped, even teenagers who simply are depressed...
this makes me think of a story Ron Paul tells in one of his books, from when he was a medical student. In one room they were performing a late abortion, the baby was just thrown out in a bucket of 'trash', even though alive and trying to breathe. In the next a very premature baby, about the same age, was carefully manoeuvred around, staff doing their best to keep him alive...
And the mostly older folk who were murdered in their tens of thousands during Convid1984 by the Johnson-Hancock govt in the UK with medazolam + morphine, with their deaths attributed to Convid!
Yup - the mind of the collectivist is an endless list of paradoxes... - actually, looking around the Western World these days.. I might be inclined to consider it a seriously dangerous destructive psychological pathology -
I still would like to know the location and number of wind turbines between Horst and his goal of reaching the North Atlantic. The screeching of those so-called green monstrosities must be most deafening and defeating.
If you scroll down a bit in the article there's a map of where the wind farms are - and each farm consists of plenty of mills so between Timmy and the ocean there may be hundreds of mills.
Clearly, Timmy has made the decision to end his life, and it's just unconscionable that he is being denied the same freedom that his two-legged, land-dwelling mammalian kin are granted to end their days in dignity when they so choose. He probably wants to change his sex as well, but no one is listening. We cannot rest until we have equity for ALL mammals and stop privileging one group just because they have advanced brains, opposable thumbs, and are made in the image of God.
Sadly, for most of your article's analysis and descriptions of the political landscape one could substitute the word 'Germany' with the word 'Canada' - ... or, might I suspect, with the names of many other Western Nations, too - ... Timmy, it seems to me, is not the only retarded/adamantly suicidal fellow in the Western World -
One of the most likely reasons whales to beach themselves is hearing loss -- either due to aging or due to military or seismic sonar testing -- extremely loud, sharp "pinging" which damages their amazingly sensitive hearing -- which they use (together with their ability to generate low-frequency sound) as 'sonar' to detect prey and detect shorelines for navigation. It also makes it possible for whales to locate one another across thousands of miles. Once this ability is lost the whale can no longer feed itself, find mates, or navigate. Its life essentially over, in my opinion, it does the sensible thing and commits suicide. This might be the perfect analogy for German politics.
I’d read also that the windmills have been shown to have created a serious negative impact on the sonar abilities of whales, and some other marine life.
"Once this ability is lost the whale can no longer feed itself, find mates, or navigate."
It is a _perfect_ analogy. One that Eugyppius, in his excellent article, might have come up with himself but didn't.
The Great German Firewall is the exact equivalent of self-induced hearing loss in one ear. Millions of Germans are shouting "AfD!", but politicians go "La la la, we can't Hear You, you don't exist anyway, and if you did exist you'd be Nazis anyway!"; meanwhile they lend the other ear indiscriminately to any dreck shouted by the other side (the Left and assorted NGOs).
No wonder they end up swimming in circles, and end up beached on the same beach again and again.
Absolutely Epic: "We are talking about people so mind-numbingly retarded they make Timmy look like an all-time genius ocean navigator."
Here is my experience with the German election that installed Merz:
A few years ago the CDU had a table outside the local REWE in Kürten before the Election that elected "landing zone Merz" (I call that pitiful patch on his head a landing zone for good ideas that's too small for them to find a place to land).
One enthusiastic young man asked me who I would be voting for. I told him no one, I can't vote and he asked me why. I still find it difficult to believe he didn't recognise my accent. Even after over 20 years, I still embarrassedly have an American Accent.
I asked him directly about democracy and what it meant to him. He gave the standard answer, the people elect representatives to serve the interests of the people who voted for them. That sounds good, I told him. Then I asked him how the "Firewall" against the AfD fit into his description of "Democracy." He stammered a bit and said that was to protect "Democracy" against the "right-wing extremists." To which I replied: "From your definition of democracy, there is a growing group of citizens voting for the AfD and their positions on the issues. How does the firewall reconcile with your definition of "Democracy," and why aren't your/other Parties at least trying to incorporate the points that the voters of the AfD into their platform/policies? According to your definition, these are the issues that the voters consider important." His response was: "Oh, you're an American, so you don't understand how a democracy works." I replied that might be the case, since America is a Constitutional Republic, but in theory, the system is the same. People vote for representatives in government to address their concerns. So how does the firewall against the AfD and the other parties ignoring the citizens who vote for their candidates fit with your definition of "democracy." With that he just walked away.
Thanks Eugy, I enjoy both your posts on X and articles here. It gets me out of the stupor of insignificance of the hum drum of daily life as a broken-down old PA farm boy and Master Carpenter/Cabinetmaker, and keeps my brain cells busy. Kudos.
Probably should just put the creature out of its misery, tow it out to sea and let the sharks and other scavengers have a feast. It’d be great if the same could be done with leftarded politicians.
It's lovely to see eugyppius taking to matters WWF instead of WEF.
Timmy the terminally ill whale is happy he is in our prayers, but honestly - we have no idea what's going on. Sad.
Now.
Another beached whale.
The super LGBTQ2S former political leader of Eire (the totally free and totally fecking independent Republic of Ireland, to be sure, to be sure, to be sure) Leo Varadkar has done a great thing. He's picked on those who live in the country rather than towns, saying they simply don't do anything useful.
Leo Varadkar and his house husband think (oh, sorry, 'tink') the famers need to live on less, pay a lot more for fuel and a lot more for carbon credits as well, to be sure, to be sure, to be sure.
You have really done it this time. You called a WHALE, a sacred animal, a fucking RETARD?!?! Look out the window—they probably already have you surrounded!
Free Willy!... from the...er...whalefare state!
Lmao! E keeps getting funnier everyday.
Like I said a couple months ago; Germany is living in a perpetual Southern Park simulation.
They even named it Timmy like the retard in South Park:
https://youtu.be/SC2V4RUmHcM?si=AzB8swh83etmwlkU
Whalefare state! Guffaws & bellyshaking laughter abound!
It's even cleverererer in "Swenglish" since pork-barreling here is called "Valfläsk".
Fläsk is pork, but "val" can mean choice, election and whale!
And there's no more pork-barreling a thing than the promises of an eternally improving whalefare state!
I'm laughing so hard I almost spewed coffee out my blowhole!
The solution for Timmy lies with Germany’s former ally; a Japanese whaling ship would know just what to do re the obviously damaged, but still edible, Timothy.
Why is it that no matter how cleverly we devise a political system, the same old human devils (greed, authoritarianism, ideology, liars, ego, etc) always manage to eventually make it unworkable.
Eugy is a national treasure.
I suspect either the Chinese secret fishing fleet will get him one night, or the Icelanders will. When we had a ‘Viking’ tour of Iceland a few years ago, the Vikings - of all people did not offer an excursion to Hvalfjörður when in Rekjavik. We did see smoked Puffin on a menuboard, but went to SeaBaron’s seafood restaurant - sehr lecker!
Try please to get Wes Anderson to re-constitute the cast of The Life Aquatic to get this on the big screen. To preserve your anonymity and score diversity points you are really going to need someday I beg you to insist that you are portrayed by Seu Jorge unless perhaps he has a Lesbian sister.
They're no threat to us. We recently had a moat deinstalled.
Hrm... a suicidal whale describes *so many* governments around the world, though. I don't think it's fair for Germany to keep this analogy entirely to itself. ;)
You could be describing Britain.
We even have a “Timmy” - Prime Minister Starmer who keeps stranding himself, escapes, then there he is again high and dry, stuck on something else.
From Oz: we describe it in these terms: He is the sort of bloke who could fall into a cesspit...and emerge smelling like a rose.
But Starmer and his government, the entire political system smells worse each time.
I know, as I've been watching UK Column news since early 2020.
I frequently use the phrase "pooping around" now, I believe coined by Eugyppius and originally applied to Bill Gates. It is an apt description of Gates, Timmy the Whaletard, and also pantsuit EU politicians pretending to be important while their states dissolve into insolvency.
there was a really good meme yesterday. See it here https://pickax.com/DoG/Truth-Bomb-Central---Episode-53-289587
No creature is allowed to die any more. All must be rescued. The flu/pneumonia used be a great way for 85-year-olds to quietly check out -- the Corona effect means we must now be propped up to age 90. Poor Timmy just wants to die peacefully without being shark food.
A local farmer collects donations to feed chickens past egg-laying stage so they don't need to go to the stew pot. Soon the left will join the Catholic church in proclaiming that Every Sperm is Sacred and cause PornHub to go bankrupt.
"No creature is allowed to die any more. All must be rescued..." ... except, of course, for gvmnts also implementing their ever-expanding 'assisted-suicide' programs to include not only terminally ill sufferers, but also simply the depressed, the mentally handicapped, even teenagers who simply are depressed...
this makes me think of a story Ron Paul tells in one of his books, from when he was a medical student. In one room they were performing a late abortion, the baby was just thrown out in a bucket of 'trash', even though alive and trying to breathe. In the next a very premature baby, about the same age, was carefully manoeuvred around, staff doing their best to keep him alive...
Splendid reference.
Yikes!
And the mostly older folk who were murdered in their tens of thousands during Convid1984 by the Johnson-Hancock govt in the UK with medazolam + morphine, with their deaths attributed to Convid!
Well, Canadians are encouraged to die.
That whole insane MAID mess is nuts
QUOTE: That whole insane MAID mess is nuts
Yet there's method in't.
?
It's quite a paradox, isn't it?
Yup - the mind of the collectivist is an endless list of paradoxes... - actually, looking around the Western World these days.. I might be inclined to consider it a seriously dangerous destructive psychological pathology -
"Every Sperm is Sacred"
The whole world seems to have adopted a Pythonesque approach to reality. We're all living in a never-ending comedy skit.
This does not end well.
But at the rate we're going, it ends soon!
'Soon the left will join the Catholic church in proclaiming that Every Sperm is Sacred'
🤣 Python reference appreciated
I still would like to know the location and number of wind turbines between Horst and his goal of reaching the North Atlantic. The screeching of those so-called green monstrosities must be most deafening and defeating.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_offshore_wind_farms_in_the_Baltic_Sea
If you scroll down a bit in the article there's a map of where the wind farms are - and each farm consists of plenty of mills so between Timmy and the ocean there may be hundreds of mills.
I had the exact same thought
Welcome back. This is an old style master Eugyppius article!
Clearly, Timmy has made the decision to end his life, and it's just unconscionable that he is being denied the same freedom that his two-legged, land-dwelling mammalian kin are granted to end their days in dignity when they so choose. He probably wants to change his sex as well, but no one is listening. We cannot rest until we have equity for ALL mammals and stop privileging one group just because they have advanced brains, opposable thumbs, and are made in the image of God.
A classic, the whole ball of modern cultural and political decay rolled into one real-life fable.
Sadly, for most of your article's analysis and descriptions of the political landscape one could substitute the word 'Germany' with the word 'Canada' - ... or, might I suspect, with the names of many other Western Nations, too - ... Timmy, it seems to me, is not the only retarded/adamantly suicidal fellow in the Western World -
Marvelous and insightful prose. A lesson for everyone.
Remigrating whales.
One of the most likely reasons whales to beach themselves is hearing loss -- either due to aging or due to military or seismic sonar testing -- extremely loud, sharp "pinging" which damages their amazingly sensitive hearing -- which they use (together with their ability to generate low-frequency sound) as 'sonar' to detect prey and detect shorelines for navigation. It also makes it possible for whales to locate one another across thousands of miles. Once this ability is lost the whale can no longer feed itself, find mates, or navigate. Its life essentially over, in my opinion, it does the sensible thing and commits suicide. This might be the perfect analogy for German politics.
(Apologies for sounding pedantic.)
Did by any chance you mean - "German politicians?"
I’d read also that the windmills have been shown to have created a serious negative impact on the sonar abilities of whales, and some other marine life.
"Once this ability is lost the whale can no longer feed itself, find mates, or navigate."
It is a _perfect_ analogy. One that Eugyppius, in his excellent article, might have come up with himself but didn't.
The Great German Firewall is the exact equivalent of self-induced hearing loss in one ear. Millions of Germans are shouting "AfD!", but politicians go "La la la, we can't Hear You, you don't exist anyway, and if you did exist you'd be Nazis anyway!"; meanwhile they lend the other ear indiscriminately to any dreck shouted by the other side (the Left and assorted NGOs).
No wonder they end up swimming in circles, and end up beached on the same beach again and again.
Reads quite reasonable
Absolutely Epic: "We are talking about people so mind-numbingly retarded they make Timmy look like an all-time genius ocean navigator."
Here is my experience with the German election that installed Merz:
A few years ago the CDU had a table outside the local REWE in Kürten before the Election that elected "landing zone Merz" (I call that pitiful patch on his head a landing zone for good ideas that's too small for them to find a place to land).
One enthusiastic young man asked me who I would be voting for. I told him no one, I can't vote and he asked me why. I still find it difficult to believe he didn't recognise my accent. Even after over 20 years, I still embarrassedly have an American Accent.
I asked him directly about democracy and what it meant to him. He gave the standard answer, the people elect representatives to serve the interests of the people who voted for them. That sounds good, I told him. Then I asked him how the "Firewall" against the AfD fit into his description of "Democracy." He stammered a bit and said that was to protect "Democracy" against the "right-wing extremists." To which I replied: "From your definition of democracy, there is a growing group of citizens voting for the AfD and their positions on the issues. How does the firewall reconcile with your definition of "Democracy," and why aren't your/other Parties at least trying to incorporate the points that the voters of the AfD into their platform/policies? According to your definition, these are the issues that the voters consider important." His response was: "Oh, you're an American, so you don't understand how a democracy works." I replied that might be the case, since America is a Constitutional Republic, but in theory, the system is the same. People vote for representatives in government to address their concerns. So how does the firewall against the AfD and the other parties ignoring the citizens who vote for their candidates fit with your definition of "democracy." With that he just walked away.
Oh, and the brouhaha with Timmy? I'm reminded of the media hysteria about "Bruno the bear." That ended poorly. (https://www.denverpost.com/2006/06/26/bruno-the-brown-bear-killed-in-german-alps/)
Oh! And there was the whole "Knut" story. (https://www.izw-berlin.de/en/press-release/knut-the-polar-bears-medical-legacy.html) Probably more fitting to the state of affairs with the German political situation; ill, dysfunctional, and doomed.
Thanks Eugy, I enjoy both your posts on X and articles here. It gets me out of the stupor of insignificance of the hum drum of daily life as a broken-down old PA farm boy and Master Carpenter/Cabinetmaker, and keeps my brain cells busy. Kudos.
Probably should just put the creature out of its misery, tow it out to sea and let the sharks and other scavengers have a feast. It’d be great if the same could be done with leftarded politicians.
It's lovely to see eugyppius taking to matters WWF instead of WEF.
Timmy the terminally ill whale is happy he is in our prayers, but honestly - we have no idea what's going on. Sad.
Now.
Another beached whale.
The super LGBTQ2S former political leader of Eire (the totally free and totally fecking independent Republic of Ireland, to be sure, to be sure, to be sure) Leo Varadkar has done a great thing. He's picked on those who live in the country rather than towns, saying they simply don't do anything useful.
Leo Varadkar and his house husband think (oh, sorry, 'tink') the famers need to live on less, pay a lot more for fuel and a lot more for carbon credits as well, to be sure, to be sure, to be sure.
So much winning!