Timmy is the name the German press have given to a confused humpback whale who got himself caught in a fishing net off the coast of Mecklenburg-Vorpommern in early March.
You have really done it this time. You called a WHALE, a sacred animal, a fucking RETARD?!?! Look out the window—they probably already have you surrounded!
The solution for Timmy lies with Germany’s former ally; a Japanese whaling ship would know what to do re the obviously damaged, but edible, Timothy.
Why is it that no matter how cleverly we devise a political system, the same old devils (greed, authoritarianism, ideology, liars, ego, etc) always manage to eventually make it unworkable. Eugy is a national treasure.
Try please to get Wes Anderson to re-constitute the cast of The Life Aquatic to get this on the big screen. To preserve your anonymity and score diversity points you are really going to need someday I beg you to insist that you are portrayed by Seu Jorge unless perhaps he has a Lesbian sister.
I frequently use the phrase "pooping around" now, I believe coined by Eugyppius and originally applied to Bill Gates. It is an apt description of Gates, Timmy the Whaletard, and also pantsuit EU politicians pretending to be important while their states dissolve into insolvency.
Hrm... a suicidal whale describes *so many* governments around the world, though. I don't think it's fair for Germany to keep this analogy entirely to itself. ;)
I still would like to know the location and number of wind turbines between Horst and his goal of reaching the North Atlantic. The screeching of those so-called green monstrosities must be most deafening and defeating.
If you scroll down a bit in the article there's a map of where the wind farms are - and each farm consists of plenty of mills so between Timmy and the ocean there may be hundreds of mills.
No creature is allowed to die any more. All must be rescued. The flu/pneumonia used be a great way for 85-year-olds to quietly check out -- the Corona effect means we must now be propped up to age 90. Poor Timmy just wants to die peacefully without being shark food.
A local farmer collects donations to feed chickens past egg-laying stage so they don't need to go to the stew pot. Soon the left will join the Catholic church in proclaiming that Every Sperm is Sacred and cause PornHub to go bankrupt.
"No creature is allowed to die any more. All must be rescued..." ... except, of course, for gvmnts also implementing their ever-expanding 'assisted-suicide' programs to include not only terminally ill sufferers, but also simply the depressed, the mentally handicapped, even teenagers who simply are depressed...
Yup - the mind of the collectivist is an endless list of paradoxes... - actually, looking around the Western World these days.. I might be inclined to consider it a seriously dangerous destructive psychological pathology -
Clearly, Timmy has made the decision to end his life, and it's just unconscionable that he is being denied the same freedom that his two-legged, land-dwelling mammalian kin are granted to end their days in dignity when they so choose. He probably wants to change his sex as well, but no one is listening. We cannot rest until we have equity for ALL mammals and stop privileging one group just because they have advanced brains, opposable thumbs, and are made in the image of God.
Sadly, for most of your article's analysis and descriptions of the political landscape one could substitute the word 'Germany' with the word 'Canada' - ... or, might I suspect, with the names of many other Western Nations, too - ... Timmy, it seems to me, is not the only retarded/adamantly suicidal fellow in the Western World -
Timmy the humpback whale is named after Timmendorfer Strand, a German Baltic Sea resort town where it was first spotted stranded in March 2026.
Leftists have plenty of other people's $$$$$ to force rescue teams to make multiple, high-risk attempts to save the "distressed whale" from shallow strand. Can you just imagine the trauma the younger citizens and immigrants are dealing with, to see how caring Germany is for this whale?
How can a name be insulting? I had a Great Dane named Muffy, it was great fun with people just meeting her, they expected to see some little yipee dog instead of finding themselves eyeball to eyeball with a giant dog grinning in their face.
You know how you handle carcasses of stranded whales?
I'd pay money to have the leftards be present when the carcass is eventually dynamited and chainsawed into chunks small enough to lift onto trucks and lorries.
I'd like to see a realistic accounting breakdown of the actual total costs of the "Save Timmy" efforts to date, AND the "Goodbye Timmy" clean-up project.
In Katmai Alaska, they often have plenty of bears that will feast all winter (forget hibernating!🙄) on a beached whale. This is why in the Spring we do not see any emaciated bears at Brooks Falls.... and scattered whale bones on a few shores.
It is disgusting that the lefties want to remove the dead animal when there are so many hungry beasts
Suddenly I'm getting ideas for a hard-core version of "Naked&Afraid"...
"Contestants - we have dropped you off here in gorgeous Alaska, next to a source of food and materials. Only hitch is, you'll be competing with the Grizzlies over it!"
I do not recall seeing the word neotony used in a sentence before, awesome.
Poor Timmy has a parasite in his brain that causes him to swim in circles, he is trying to beach himself to die to get free of the pain of the parasite in his brain which is something I hope for myself & all humanity too. Hope we don't have to die to accomplish it but it is looking pretty grim.
You have really done it this time. You called a WHALE, a sacred animal, a fucking RETARD?!?! Look out the window—they probably already have you surrounded!
Free Willy!... from the...er...whalefare state!
Lmao! E keeps getting funnier everyday.
Like I said a couple months ago; Germany is living in a perpetual Southern Park simulation.
They even named it Timmy like the retard in South Park:
https://youtu.be/SC2V4RUmHcM?si=AzB8swh83etmwlkU
Whalefare state! Guffaws & bellyshaking laughter abound!
It's even cleverererer in "Swenglish" since pork-barreling here is called "Valfläsk".
Fläsk is pork, but "val" can mean choice, election and whale!
And there's no more pork-barreling a thing than the promises of an eternally improving whalefare state!
I'm laughing so hard I almost spewed coffee out my blowhole!
LOLOLOL. You're hilarious, Rikard!
The solution for Timmy lies with Germany’s former ally; a Japanese whaling ship would know what to do re the obviously damaged, but edible, Timothy.
Why is it that no matter how cleverly we devise a political system, the same old devils (greed, authoritarianism, ideology, liars, ego, etc) always manage to eventually make it unworkable. Eugy is a national treasure.
Try please to get Wes Anderson to re-constitute the cast of The Life Aquatic to get this on the big screen. To preserve your anonymity and score diversity points you are really going to need someday I beg you to insist that you are portrayed by Seu Jorge unless perhaps he has a Lesbian sister.
I frequently use the phrase "pooping around" now, I believe coined by Eugyppius and originally applied to Bill Gates. It is an apt description of Gates, Timmy the Whaletard, and also pantsuit EU politicians pretending to be important while their states dissolve into insolvency.
Hrm... a suicidal whale describes *so many* governments around the world, though. I don't think it's fair for Germany to keep this analogy entirely to itself. ;)
You could be describing Britain.
We even have a “Timmy” - Prime Minister Starmer who keeps stranding himself, escapes, then there he is again high and dry, stuck on something else.
Welcome back. This is an old style master Eugyppius article!
Marvelous and insightful prose. A lesson for everyone.
I still would like to know the location and number of wind turbines between Horst and his goal of reaching the North Atlantic. The screeching of those so-called green monstrosities must be most deafening and defeating.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_offshore_wind_farms_in_the_Baltic_Sea
If you scroll down a bit in the article there's a map of where the wind farms are - and each farm consists of plenty of mills so between Timmy and the ocean there may be hundreds of mills.
No creature is allowed to die any more. All must be rescued. The flu/pneumonia used be a great way for 85-year-olds to quietly check out -- the Corona effect means we must now be propped up to age 90. Poor Timmy just wants to die peacefully without being shark food.
A local farmer collects donations to feed chickens past egg-laying stage so they don't need to go to the stew pot. Soon the left will join the Catholic church in proclaiming that Every Sperm is Sacred and cause PornHub to go bankrupt.
"No creature is allowed to die any more. All must be rescued..." ... except, of course, for gvmnts also implementing their ever-expanding 'assisted-suicide' programs to include not only terminally ill sufferers, but also simply the depressed, the mentally handicapped, even teenagers who simply are depressed...
It's quite a paradox, isn't it?
Yup - the mind of the collectivist is an endless list of paradoxes... - actually, looking around the Western World these days.. I might be inclined to consider it a seriously dangerous destructive psychological pathology -
Well, Canadians are encouraged to die.
"Every Sperm is Sacred"
The whole world seems to have adopted a Pythonesque approach to reality. We're all living in a never-ending comedy skit.
This does not end well.
But at the rate we're going, it ends soon!
'Soon the left will join the Catholic church in proclaiming that Every Sperm is Sacred'
🤣 Python reference appreciated
A classic, the whole ball of modern cultural and political decay rolled into one real-life fable.
Clearly, Timmy has made the decision to end his life, and it's just unconscionable that he is being denied the same freedom that his two-legged, land-dwelling mammalian kin are granted to end their days in dignity when they so choose. He probably wants to change his sex as well, but no one is listening. We cannot rest until we have equity for ALL mammals and stop privileging one group just because they have advanced brains, opposable thumbs, and are made in the image of God.
Remigrating whales.
Sadly, for most of your article's analysis and descriptions of the political landscape one could substitute the word 'Germany' with the word 'Canada' - ... or, might I suspect, with the names of many other Western Nations, too - ... Timmy, it seems to me, is not the only retarded/adamantly suicidal fellow in the Western World -
I'm thinking that Timmy the Whale can speak, but only his name: "TIMMY!"
Lmao!
https://youtu.be/SC2V4RUmHcM?si=AzB8swh83etmwlkU
Eugyppius, this is such an insulting name for a whale - even a retarded whale. “Timmy” would be more appropriate for a goldfish.
Timmy the humpback whale is named after Timmendorfer Strand, a German Baltic Sea resort town where it was first spotted stranded in March 2026.
Leftists have plenty of other people's $$$$$ to force rescue teams to make multiple, high-risk attempts to save the "distressed whale" from shallow strand. Can you just imagine the trauma the younger citizens and immigrants are dealing with, to see how caring Germany is for this whale?
Yes, I saw the reason for his name - it doesn’t make it any less insulting.
How can a name be insulting? I had a Great Dane named Muffy, it was great fun with people just meeting her, they expected to see some little yipee dog instead of finding themselves eyeball to eyeball with a giant dog grinning in their face.
You know how you handle carcasses of stranded whales?
I'd pay money to have the leftards be present when the carcass is eventually dynamited and chainsawed into chunks small enough to lift onto trucks and lorries.
I'd like to see a realistic accounting breakdown of the actual total costs of the "Save Timmy" efforts to date, AND the "Goodbye Timmy" clean-up project.
I'm guessing here, but odds are most of the people there are either on uni/state funding somehow, or on sick pay or welfare.
In other words, "infinite OPM" is the only sum we'll ever have for it.
"infinite OPM"
An apt term that accurately describes most, if not all, government spending!
In Katmai Alaska, they often have plenty of bears that will feast all winter (forget hibernating!🙄) on a beached whale. This is why in the Spring we do not see any emaciated bears at Brooks Falls.... and scattered whale bones on a few shores.
It is disgusting that the lefties want to remove the dead animal when there are so many hungry beasts
Suddenly I'm getting ideas for a hard-core version of "Naked&Afraid"...
"Contestants - we have dropped you off here in gorgeous Alaska, next to a source of food and materials. Only hitch is, you'll be competing with the Grizzlies over it!"
“… We have spent the last twenty years [NOT] solving exactly the wrong problem…”
Fixed it.
I do not recall seeing the word neotony used in a sentence before, awesome.
Poor Timmy has a parasite in his brain that causes him to swim in circles, he is trying to beach himself to die to get free of the pain of the parasite in his brain which is something I hope for myself & all humanity too. Hope we don't have to die to accomplish it but it is looking pretty grim.
Humanity's parasite, on the other hand, resides deep within the bowels of the legislatures and public services of most countries.
Apparently difficult, (if not impossible), to remove.