German YouTuber faces €16,000 fine for mispronouncing the word "quality" in the latest insane speech crime prosecution to hit the Federal Republic

I always think we have hit rock bottom when it comes to German speech crime prosecutions, but then somehow things always manage to get worse.

Today we have news that law enforcement authorities in Braunschweig have issued summary judgement against Tim Heldt, a major German YouTuber who runs the channel KuchenTV. They accuse Heldt of violating section 86a of the German Criminal Code, which is the statute that forbids using the symbols and slogans of “anti-constitutional and terrorist organisations” like the NSDAP. Specifically, some policewoman named Fehrer of the Braunschweig Police believes Heldt “knowingly” said the words “Sieg Heil”¹ during a Christmas livestream last December. The fine for this grave act of cryptofascism is €16,000.

The thing is, when we call up the relevant clip from the livestream – which Heldt himself has helpfully posted – we see that the man said no such thing.

In this video, some woman comes up to Heldt and his friends, and asks if they’re streaming. Heldt says “Ich versuch’s, die ka … die Qualität ist hier nicht so gut irgendwie bei mir.” Or in English: “I’m trying to, but somehow the [streaming] quality here isn’t that great for me.” If you listen to the clip repeatedly, you can begin to appreciate how the final s of “versuch’s” combined with Heldt’s garbled attempt to pronounce “die Qualität” may for the hopelessly retarded begin to resemble the words of the Nazi salute.

That is, however, plainly not what Heldt said, and also contextually it makes no sense. You can see this in the penalty order Heldt received, where the prosecutors insanely accuse him of answering the woman’s question with the words “I’m trying Sieg Heil but somehow the quality here isn’t that great.”

I suspect this prosecution arises from some kind of automatic flagging process triggered by an error in an electronic transcription. The misunderstanding here is just so egregious and unnatural, I can’t imagine it originating with a human. A minimum of three people (Officer Fehrer, the prosecutor and a judge) did, however, sign off on our misfiring censorship bot, which is pretty crazy when you think about it.

Heldt has vowed to fight the case, and so there will be a trial. I’d like to say that he has every chance of winning, but he just doesn’t, especially in the first instance. Germany has become total madhouse.

This story displaces the notorious Poop Emoji Prosecution of Sachsen-Anhalt from 2023 as the stupidest speech crime indictment thus far. In that case, some guy wanted to call former Economics Minister Robert Habeck a “piece of shit” two years ago, but to soften his language he used the poop emoji instead, earning himself a fine of €600 via summary judgement. In the words of the prosecution, “the witness Habeck feels that his honour has been violated … in particular by your use of the emoji.”

1. Disclaimer: I hereby distance myself from this and deplorable National Socialist slogans and symbols.